Why Me?

A while ago a friend of mine signed me up for a dating website, in the hopes that I too would find love in the same fashion she did.  While I think it's great that she found her mate, I find it hard to respond to messages as most of mine turn out like this:

Me and my buddy are just sitting here browsing pof and we both REALLY like your pics, you are a gorgeous woman!

We're both good looking single guys, 28 and 31, normal, sane, non smokers, no drugs/diseases.

We would love to meet you and give you a massage sometime - if you think a massage from 2 hands feels good, think how good a massage from 4 hands would feel!

Let us know if you're interested :)

Ok, this is the weirdest, but, a lot of them aren't much better :P

Hey It's My Favorite Holiday - Barf

Hey everybody, look how red my eye is... Sweet! Too bad I looked like a drug addict for the job interview I've been waiting 7 months for. Oh and maybe I shouldn't have parked in the snow removal lane and had to be paged on the intercom to move my car. In my defense, there really was not enough signage.

So it's Valentine's day again. Is is me or does it always seem like it's Valentine's Day? Maybe it's just my sense of impending doom.

So as to not break tradition, I will be alone yet again this Valentine's Day.

Question: are you ever really alone when you buy yourself a pink iPod Nano?
Answer: NO.

Hey everybody - you can see my reflection in the iPod screen! Double picture. I like how my hair gets worse and worse with each picture. I hate to think what it will look like in an hour from now.

Now on the positive side of things, I did go on a date last week. I know what you're thinking - and yes, it is some kind of miracle and I wouldn't be surprised if we're about to experience the apocalypse.