Well there's nothing to say.... I gained a bunch of weight. It sucks, but it ends now. On Monday I reeled in my calories, 1200 a day, 1400 max - but only for the first few weeks, in case I start to go crazy.
In the end, I want to lose 112lbs (hence the title of this post). I am giving myself exactly 1 year to accomplish this.
In a little under 2 weeks I'm starting a nursing degree, and I refuse to be obese when I finish in 2 years time. And I would like to spend the last year of my degree comfortable in my body. August 20, 2013 is my deadline. It's completely doable, I just can't get off track.
It's not going to be easy, since I started all I think about is food. But it's worth it in the end. One year is the end date - but I'll try to do it faster.
Before I found my current job I was a substitute teacher. This in an of itself is horrible. Kids are not what they used to be. Technology seems to have made them strangely detached, and this has led to increasingly poor behaviour, especially if a substitute is present. Now enter an obese substitute into the picture. It's not pretty. Kids are mean to their peers, but their even meaner to obese substitute teachers. They call you names, say offensive comments, and draw cartoons of you. It's not a fun time, and caused me a large amount of stress.
Thankfully, well not really, but sort of, subbing here is mostly part time work. So, you're not in the classroom everyday. But this in itself is a problem. If you're not working, you're not getting paid. And if you're not at work, what are you doing with your time?
I used to tell my mom that I was going to the gym. I'd get dressed in my gym clothes, fill a bottle of water, make a show of putting my headphones in my purse.
I'd get in my car, drive down the highway, and end up at the movie theater. I would buy the largest popcorn, smother it with "margarine" and sit in the dark theater by myself eating. I saw all the movies. Even the terrible ones. My desire to eat was horrible. I branched out from popcorn to chicken tenders and fries, covered in honey mustard sauce. It wasn't even delicious, it was just a habit that I had that I couldn't break.
I really don't know what my mom thought I was doing at the gym all that time, I wasn't losing a single pound. And some of the movies that come out are just sooo long.
I'm on vacation from work this week... for the first few days all I wanted to do was go eat some popcorn. But I remember last weeks 6lbs. It's not worth it. The 2 hours of munching will not make me happy. Today, I will get my stuff together and drive to the gym. Fulfill some of the exercise component of this challenge. Exercise will be my new habit.
Food and water down the hatch. I'm watching comedy night thinking about popcorn. But I've already eaten all my food. So no popcorn today. It wouldn't be the same anyway, I'm having visions of butter smothered, ultra salted popcorn. And since that's no longer an option, I think I'll just shelf the popcorn for a while.
I'm toying with the idea of going on a trip next week. Banff maybe.