Before I found my current job I was a substitute teacher. This in an of itself is horrible. Kids are not what they used to be. Technology seems to have made them strangely detached, and this has led to increasingly poor behaviour, especially if a substitute is present. Now enter an obese substitute into the picture. It's not pretty. Kids are mean to their peers, but their even meaner to obese substitute teachers. They call you names, say offensive comments, and draw cartoons of you. It's not a fun time, and caused me a large amount of stress.
Thankfully, well not really, but sort of, subbing here is mostly part time work. So, you're not in the classroom everyday. But this in itself is a problem. If you're not working, you're not getting paid. And if you're not at work, what are you doing with your time?
I used to tell my mom that I was going to the gym. I'd get dressed in my gym clothes, fill a bottle of water, make a show of putting my headphones in my purse.
I'd get in my car, drive down the highway, and end up at the movie theater. I would buy the largest popcorn, smother it with "margarine" and sit in the dark theater by myself eating. I saw all the movies. Even the terrible ones. My desire to eat was horrible. I branched out from popcorn to chicken tenders and fries, covered in honey mustard sauce. It wasn't even delicious, it was just a habit that I had that I couldn't break.
I really don't know what my mom thought I was doing at the gym all that time, I wasn't losing a single pound. And some of the movies that come out are just sooo long.
I'm on vacation from work this week... for the first few days all I wanted to do was go eat some popcorn. But I remember last weeks 6lbs. It's not worth it. The 2 hours of munching will not make me happy. Today, I will get my stuff together and drive to the gym. Fulfill some of the exercise component of this challenge. Exercise will be my new habit.
Food and water down the hatch. I'm watching comedy night thinking about popcorn. But I've already eaten all my food. So no popcorn today. It wouldn't be the same anyway, I'm having visions of butter smothered, ultra salted popcorn. And since that's no longer an option, I think I'll just shelf the popcorn for a while.
I'm toying with the idea of going on a trip next week. Banff maybe.
If this were Wheel of Fortune, that title would be in the Before and After category.... this is why you don't let your grandma pick the shows you watch.
I've started the Couch to 10K. I was going to do the 5K, but I thought, stupidly mind you, if I'm going to do 5K I may as well do 10K.
Today was day 1 of week 2 and I almost quit about 14 times on the treadmill. I really have no idea why I kept going. My usual pattern is to just quit half way through and say "good enough."
But I didn't, I finished. I think I'll have to repeat week 2, I'm not used to this much running. And frankly, I don't like running all that much to begin with.
Then as I was blog hopping I saw this quote:
"Your biggest challenge isn't someone else. It's the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells 'CAN'T", but you don't listen. You just push harder. And then you hear the voice whisper 'can'. And you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are."- Unknown
I don't remember where I saw it, as I peruse a lot of blogs. But it was just want I needed to read.
I am not a fan of daylight savings time. I cherish sleep, it's my favorite time of the day. And losing 1 hour, though it doesn't seem like much, really really screws with my system. It's like super jet lag. I don't know why it affects me so much, I just hate it.
This morning I was on the bus and I was wondering if losing the hour affects others as much as it affects me. That's when I noticed the bus was about half a foot away from hitting a pedestrian. Apparently the pedestrian noticed too because she stopped walking. The bus driver didn't seem to notice until we were through the cross walk, where he stopped, seemed to ponder whether he should apologize to the woman, and then just drove on.
So, apparently the answer is yes. Daylight savings time is clearly evil.
Lunch was worse. I went to the store to buy some groceries. I got what I needed, when I went to pay, I realized I had lost my mittens. My glorious raccoon mittens. Frantically I searched the store, no luck. I asked the cashiers and customer service, no luck. All faith in humanity was lost as I realized someone had scarfed my mittens.
I called them later in the day to see if they had been turned it. They had been! Faith in humanity restored!
When I got to the store the line at customer service was huge. But the guy saw me, waved and said "are you looking for raccoon mittens?" I nodded enthusiastically. He waved me over and passed them to me. I thanked him a million times. I think my raccoon hat tipped him off.
Ugh this week has been tough. I'm down 2lbs. I was hoping for more, but I did have the flu for a couple days and ended up not getting in the exercise on those days. Or all the water, hard to drink when you're asleep.
But, week 2 is starting, and my water bottle is filled and ready for the morning.
I'm trying out a new gym tomorrow. It's only a 5 minute drive, as opposed to the 30 minute one I'm currently making. It's got a pool and all kinds of other facilities. I'm hoping I'll like it. Currently when I go to the gym it takes so long to commute it's a total turn off, I go, but I'm never happy about it.
I've had a really blah day. Went to work but came home at lunch with flu symptoms. Bleh I hate being sick. A day of sleep seems to have helped, though it's tough to get in the water when you're asleep. I've got it almost all in, just a bit of late night chugging and I'll call it a night.
Food on plan, exercise is done. Fever possibly broken.
Hopefully tomorrow is better.
Well the results are in, down 2 lbs this week. Kinda disappointing, but, I started the week not really focused, but with all the support I received, the rest of the week went well. I've got my motivation back in spades, to be honest, I didn't think I was going to lose anything this week because of how it started off, but when I saw a drop on the scale I was overjoyed, and I'm ready to see a lot more losses.
This week is going to kick ass - it's shape up or leave the challenge, and I don't want to leave, so, 1200 cals, zillions of ounces of water, and nothing else, except the exercise that is.
Let's have a great week everyone!
And thanks to Debbie and Fat2Fit for two more Stylish Blogger Awards!
Brownies, cookies and pastries are only a few of the things that are currently being carted in by the caterers. I ate none of these things - I usually go for the veggies, but as there were none today, I had nothing. Just the sandwich and apple that I brought for lunch. That was enough anyway.
I'd like to sincerely thank everyone in the Challenge who reached out to me. I've never had to many emails in a day - unless we're talking about penis enlargement ads and offers to help princes in far off countries.
When I first saw my name on the list of people needing help I was embarrassed, ashamed, and kind of horrified. I knew I hadn't been doing well, ok, terrible, but seeing my 0.8% really put things into perspective. I really don't want to be the person who signs up for a weight loss challenge, who writes a weight loss blog - and doesn't lose weight. It's say, and it's not going to be me.
To be honest, the emails I received were nothing short of amazing. I teared up in the lunchroom and got quite a few odd looks.
While I felt like a complete disappointment after reading them, I was also incredibly inspired. I know what to do to lose weight, it's just really time to start doing it.
I made the trek to the gym yesterday, I attempted to take the LRT there, big mistake. The stop is really far away from the gym, normally, that's awesome b/c it's a bit of extra walking, but, through huge piles of mushy snow, it's just a huge pain in the ass. I'll be driving to the gym tomorrow, assuming I don't get stuck in the alley, which happened a few days ago.
Side note: if you have to get stuck in the snow, make sure you're blocking the whole road, that way people are forced to help you if they want to continue on their way!
Tomorrow I'm going to venture to the gym. Adding that to the exercise that we're expected to do for Phase 4, I'm hoping it'll give me a boost to have a good loss this week.
We've been getting catered food at work. I've skipped all of it except for a couple pieces of fruit, and a bunch of celery and carrots. Most people have been complaining of stomach aches after eating it anyway - so, it's a good thing I'm not indulging in it.
The snow piles are taller than me, my legs are popsicles and my patience has run out with this snow. As I was shoveling the drive way, I had to stand and ponder for a few minutes, I couldn't figure out where I was going to put the snow. There's so much, I don't have any more room in my yard. It's insane.
Lets not even start with the topic of having to pee while shoveling and then having to take off your boots 3 times. What a pain in the ass. Flipping water.
I ended up eating supper at 8pm tonight. Way later than I normally like to eat, but with all the shoveling, there was no avoiding it. I'm extremely full. I can't imagine binging on this plan. I'd explode immediately.
I've been following the plan, but I didn't get all the walking in. It's been -36 here with the wind chill, we have mounds and mounds of snow, and it just didn't happen. I got in 2 of the 3 days of walking, but they were stretched apart. I got in all the strength training though.
Did anyone watch the Golden Globes? I watched part of it, I love watching all the gorgeous dresses. I want to lose weight for my health, but to be honest, I'm really really really looking forward to the clothes.
How gorgeous is this dress? Stunning, I think it was my favorite of the night.
On another note - now that I've started working full time its about 1000 times easier to get all my fluid in. A 16oz coffee in the morning, followed by just over 4 liters of water.
I've also noticed that while I'm filling up my 32oz bottle 3 times while I'm there, coworkers only fill up a mug, and some of them don't even drink a while mug during the day. No wonder by the time the afternoon rolls around I'm running to the washroom ever 40 minutes and they sit contentedly at their desks.
I think it's the increase in water, definitely not increased calories. Also - I'm completely plugged up - I tried eating prunes (my first time - delicious!) but I haven't had the expected prune benefit.
I forgot how fast weekends go by. And how much people dread Monday.
We're in blizzard weather here, tonnes and tonnes of snow. Shoveling every few hours to keep it manageable.
The new job is alright - though I'm not a fan of waking up super early :(
Day 1 is in the bag. Calories came in at 1185, walking done, strength training tomorrow.
In other news, I'm half moving tomorrow. To be closer to my new job, but I'll be coming home to my parents house on the weekends because I'm sure my mom will be having empty nest syndrome, and also I'll completely miss the dog.
The job starts on Wednesday, I don't know if I'm excited or not. Kind of I am, but, it's a little tricky going from super part time work to full time. I'm used to sleeping in and kinda being in vacation mode, so, pretty much I've gotten really lazy. This will definitely be a shock to the system for the first bit.
I've been trying to write this post for a few days now, but the words are not really forming properly in my head.
I ran into my old boot camp instructor a few days ago. I had to leave boot camp for monetary reasons, not the lack of desire to go, but at $200 a month, it was out of my price range while working so infrequently.
When I left, I of course had every intention of continuing to get in shape and lose all the weight I need to. I envisioned that the next time I saw him, I would be thinner, happier and proud. This, of course, did not happen.
When I saw him my whole face turned red. I was mortified. Still fat, fatter than I was when I left boot camp, just pure horror running through my veins. I wanted to run away, hide, more ashamed than I've been in a long long time.
Phase 4 of Allan's Challenge starts in a couple days. I'm excited for it. One of the main rules of Allan's Challenges is No BS.
If I'm completely honest, up until now, I've been, I'd say, 43% full of BS.
Phase 4 is 100% BS free. 100% commitment. 100% of what I should have been doing since Phase 1. No more excuses, no more BS, no more whining - just eat less, drink more, move more, and lose it all.