July 7, 2006

Do you ever wish that you could be completely honest?

with yourself, or even with other people?

I try to be honest, but there are some things that I can't help but hold on to. I'm scared of being judged, no matter how much I say what other people think doesn't matter, to me it kind of does, just a little bit. Not enough to change me, but enough to admit that I don't admit everything to everyone.

I got my stereo back.

That needs explanation.

When I was 16 I got the most amazing stereo for my birthday, I picked it out. In the store my dad and I had Beautiful Midnight at full volume, to see what it would sound like.

Anyway, the stereo broke after 6 years of constant use, and the CD's wouldn't read.

Today, it is back from the repair shop, I've given up the new stereo that I got so that I could have this old one, the sound is just so amazing I can't believe it. I'm in an oblivion of joy with this thing. I'm playing Beautiful Midnight as a tribute to the first CD ever played on it.

My dad was on the deck and he could hear it outside, and he said that he wished I was playing Apparitions. He knows it's not on the album, but it's his favorite Matt Good song I believe.

We are getting new flooring

I can't stop looking at this stereo and thinking that I used to talk on the phone with Heather's like Sunday playing in the background
and i remember a certain ex-boyfriend who would point out that it was playing

I wouldn't care, because I was focused on him, I guess he wasn't focused on me.

I was never beautiful, I was cute. Never, in my life have I been beautiful.


Song - Heather's Like Sunday - Matthew Good Band


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