Take Out Your Dancing Pants

OK guys, I passed biochem midterm. Party party party. Didn't do that great on it, but, I didn't fail. So there's that.

It's weird how a week of your life can just go by and you don't even really notice. Spending all that time in bed, and nothing really changed, didn't really miss anything important.

Today in EDU I saved a seat for someone and they did not come sit by me, so this other crazy guy came and he was moving around the whole time and kept kicking me and then he hit me in the head with his elbow and it was super annoying. And he kept talking to me during the movie we were watching and I was like "can't you see that I just want you to fuck off and stop talking to me and stop kicking me now?!?!" but as always I said nothing and just kind of nodded and kept watching the movie. In other news, psych midterm tomorrow. Also, I can't stop coughing.

Stephanie Secret: I don't like pizza

Brain Function is at an all time Low

I've been sick. I've had the worst head cold imaginable and then multiply that thought by a zillion and that's how sick I was/am. But I feel a little better today. I should hope so, I've spent the last 48hours sleeping. Not exactly the most productive few days. Two midterms comming up this week, about 4 weeks of reading to catch up on in the next 3 days. So this should be good.

Anyway, biochem midterm went better than expected, which is great because I was feeling so insanely drowsy before it, I'm just glad I managed to stay awake and answer all the questions. I don't have my mark, but since I anticipates like 10% i think I may have surpassed that.

I'm not too woried about the psych midterm. Friday was a review session in class and people were asking super dumbass questions, so dumb that even the prof started laughing. "Ummm, will we have to know which part of the brain does what?" Uhh YEAH dumbass. We spent over a week discussing it, you think it's not going to be on the exam? Well, that calmed my nerves at least.

It's a Panic Attack Kind of Day

I'm not ready. Biochem midterm tomorrow. I'm hyperventilating. I don't know all the enzymes. I don't know the structures of coenzymes. I don't know anything. I can't breathe.

It's a Miracle

Today something happened to me that has never ever ever happened to me before. I used up a school supply. I ran out of white out. Usually I lose pens before they run out of ink etc... So after years of just losing stuff or throwing stuff away, I've finally run out of something.

Goodbye white out - it was fun.. all the mistakes you erased, I appreciate it.

It's a Mad World

Busy busy weekend for me. Well, sort of. I got my hair cut on Thursday. I both like it and hate it simultaneously. Mainly because the chick was like, "its easy to style" and then when I tried to do it I looked like my head had exploded in stupidness. Anyway, Friday night, after an hour of trying to style the stupid hair, which ended up in a ponytail like always. So then we went to Gina's friends house and proceeded to get piss drunk out of our minds.

Then we went to the Stonehouse and had more drinks and then for some reason I decided I was hungry and left the bar, all by myself piss ass drunk. I walked for what seemed like a million years looking for the #6 bus stop but all I could find was #5. So then I got a little scared cause I was lost downtown and didn't know where the bar was.
So I managed to find a Tim Hortons and went inside and called my mom to tell her that I lost Gina and I'm lost downtown and I'm drunk and I can't find the bus stop so can someone please come and pick me up? So I waited at Tim Hortons and had a bagel. And then I called Gina's dad by accident and told him the whole story. THen my brother came and we went to McDonalds and had chicken nuggets.

The End

Metaphysics? More like MetaFuckingRetardsOrgasmParty

Yeah you heard me Meta Fucking Retards Orgasm Party.

I am honnestly trying my best to be openminded. That's why I took this class in the first place. I thought hey, a new way of thinking, something other than science, things not based only on fact. I was wrong. This was a bad idea. A rage inducing idea. Honnestly, I just keep looking at my prof and having to bite my lip to keep from laughing at him.

On Monday we were debating language. For example, realists say that "john is bald". Nominalists don't believe that John exists so nominalists argue that john is not bald, but can't say that john isn't bald because that in fact acknowledges that john exists and nominalists argue that john doesn't exist. OK, fine.

So how do they get around this conundrum you might ask? Well, it's so clear its like mud. They say that John is John-ized. You might be thinking, "hey, that isn't a real word" and you would be right!

Next point, John-ized means to be John. Ok, so we're just making up words in case you didn't notice.

So now, there is something, X, which is both john-ized and bald.
And therefore the sentace is true and untrue both at the same time. Hurrah!

Last week, a white dove and a while flag are the same thing because they are both white. Alright, so how many of you are sitting around in a circle holding hands singing kumbaya and debating what white means? Who is paying these people to talk about this stuff? It's all these arts students bashing science students who just "can't figure out how to read the textbook". Actually, its not a textbook, its a bunch of articles by people who are crazy. And it looks like they maxed out their thesaurus usage because instead of saying something rationally, its just a lot of huge words strung together in no particular order.

On the plus side. Today I was able to find a replacement pin. Ahhhhh the world is right again.

Yeah Metaphysics, she's giving you the finger.

Nothing to Move, Nothing in here to Explain

So today I met Chad. And it was weird. Not weird because you aren't awesome Chad, but because you totally took me by surprise.

He asked me if I thought it was weird that we both ended up in the same class. And my answer is no, I totally don't. What I find weird is how out of the millions of people on the internet, and out of two who people actually read my blog, that one of them is in the Faculty of Ed at the same school as me. So after all that, I totally don't find it weird that we're in the same class.

So then I felt dumb because I was acting crazy because I was feeling a little guilty over not saying Hi to him even though I kind of recognized him, but I wasn't totally sure it was him. So I brought up the only thing I could think of which was the stupid class we had.

Which, by the way, was ruined by these two people sitting behind me who talked at full volume through the whole lecture. I hate people like that, just be quiet already. If I don't want to pay attention and go to sleep that's my problem, but you talking and making me not able to hear the prof just pisses me off because I can't decide for myself to tune him out. If they sit there next time I'm going to freak out at them.

Anyway, I'm having a lovely day because I only have one class and I just finished my psych assignment, do a web search *lol* and now I can go home. The stupid U of A website won't load on the computer at home so that's why I'm doing it here.

Waiting for text message from Corinne to let me know which Matt Good show she wants to go to. I haven't decided if I'm gonna go to both, I would love to, but my bank account is hurting right now, decisions decisions.

This was a lame post.

Things that are lame right now:
5-hunger
4-the chick at the next computer keeps looking at my comp to see what i'm doing
3-not having a ticket to Matt Good
2-i lost my pin that says "ms. bitter" and had a cartoon on it like those books from when you're a kid and the series is "mr.men" and they're all kinds of things like the one guy with really long arms "mr. tickle" so anyway i lost my pin
1-i have to go read metaphysics and i'd rather poke out my eyes with my lost ms. bitter pin, which i lost yesterday after metaphysics on the way to the bus so boooooo to metaphysics

Lists are wicked

EDIT: Chad you can come sit with us in EDU if you want.. but let me know so I can save you a seat. But like no pressure, if you don't want to thats cool

Blah Blah Yeah Yeah Blah

funny

Today I didn't do anything and then I watched a show about a guy who weighs 1000lbs and they call him the half ton man. And then Richard Simmons was there and his hair looked kickass.

It was gross.

Fuckin Telus Bullshit

I hate Telus. They're always like, pay more for stuff and I'm like no way hose (more effective if my keyboard typed spanish, but alas it does not).

In anycase, they want $7.00 in long distance charges, but I didn't go anywhere, and I didn't phone anyone that did.

Oh fuck, Gina, this is from when we were in Calgary and buying fish and junk like that. Ok, I get it now.

Here's a Post for Isabel, La La La

Here is my phone. It is black and shiny and blinks all kinds of colors and plays Holiday from Green Day which makes me happy.








And here is my open phone with a picture of my doggie on the screen.

Better than Blueberry Pie, OK, it isn't

I'm tired today. I couldn't sleep after my emotional breakdown last night. And my eyes are sore, and I should go to bed but I feel like just sitting around instead so that's what I'm doing really.

I have so much reading to do. I don't know if work knows that I'm comming in 2 hours late tomorrow. I don't have much faith in the person I left the message with, so who knows.

I got a new cell phone today. It's really pretty.

That is all.

Help Me Up, A Pair Of Wings, A Little Rope, All Those Things

Recently I've had the feeling of impending doom... originally I had chalked it up to the fact that I had no idea what was going on in school. But today I found out what it was really about.

I saw my ex-boyfriend today. It's quite the story with him. Dated on and off for 4 years. Loved him, hated him. Mostly just hated myself with him. He broke up with me because he was building weapons for foreigners but I shouldn't worry because in the event of a disaster his "assets" would be protected (i.e. his family and mine). So honnestly, thank god he broke up with me, crazy fuck.

I gave up all of my friends to be with him... retrospect is a bitch. I gave up all my best friends for someone who made me feel beyond inadequate. So my life would feel like I was drowning. Constantly fighting for air. I'd spend everyday wishing things were better. He enforced a rule that I could only see him one day a week. And if I insisted on sleeping over, he acted like he couldn't wait to get rid of me in the morning. Actually I can still remember what he said "I don't want you to sleep here because it'll end up in a long goodbye in the morning." Oh sorry, I thought we were dating, I didn't know this was torture for you. At least if the sex had been good it might have been worthwhile, but it wasn't. It was boring, and I'd spend the whole time thinking, and might I add this was the ONLY time I would think this, that I should be studying.

He forced me to watch Star Trek with him, and all the movies as well. He made me feel small, like I should be thanking my lucky stars that I was with him, even though he had to lour me back into his life a number of times. I guess I should mention that I was the one who broke up with him 5 or so times before our actual break up forever break up. I should have stuck to my intuition. I regret it. It's the only regret I have.

Anyway, back to today. I saw him at the U of A bus depot. I proceeded to run like a crazy person and hide behind a bus. I don't think he saw me. I've never prayed before, but I prayed today. I prayed that my bus would show up so I could run away, like I always have from him. My bus showed up and I got on. I watched him through the window for a good 5 minutes before my bus pulled away.

He looked older. He looked like I thought he would, like someone with no real attachements, like someone who has forgotten me. And instantly I became the girl I was 3 years ago. No self worth, no self respect, just self loathing. The pathetic girl that I was with him, someone who no matter what, couldn't stand up for themself.

And even though I know I'm not that person, I can't stop it from comming out of me. I need a drink. I need something. I need to feel like someone actually understands, and not that they're just saying that they do, because it's not the same.

And even as I write this I cry just a little bit for him. I'm scared no one will ever love me. Truely, honnestly love me... and it'll just be me forever and ever. I'm just to scared to ask the question that's really haunting me, how can someone else love me if I don't even love myself?

I'm a senioritta who is melting at a very fast rate. (By the way, In a Coma kicks fucking ass hardcore).

OK Hiro, You Got Me

I must admit Hiro, it was a good move going to the professor of physics to tell her that Angela and I walked out on the lab. You're one kickass TA. My favorite part was the email she sent us telling us to come and see you immediately. Smooth one.
But I have one-up'd you. I dropped the class. Maybe you should have checked that out first. Just an idea.

Hey Hiro, Screw You!

On Monday the most unusual thing in the world happened. Angela and I walked out of our physics lab.

That's right folks, we just walked out. That's not the kind of thing that people do, but we did it. And I'm so fucking proud to be me right now.

After recieving 25% on our previous physics lab, Angela went into the hallway to call the Faculty of Education to see how we could change out minors and leave physics forever. So after a little bit of debate over what we should do, and an hour of working on the lab. We packed up our bags and left the lab. I'm just going to assume our TA, Hiro, was freaking out beyond belief. Mwahaha.

But seriously, Boooo to the Department of Physics for such a poorly run lab and such a confusing lecture. Boo to you physics. There was no lab direction, none. We showed up the first day and Hiro was like, get used to my accent and start your labs now. So we all worked with our partners with no help or direction from him at all. Then this week he's all, you guys are really independent and I like that, unfortunately the lab average is 50%. So most of you are doing everything wrong. Wooo! Then one chick is like "umm what's the average in the other labs?" Hiro claimed not to know, but we all know that he did.

I've now enrolled in two new classes, and starting both of them a week late is such a bitch. I'm like 3 chapters behind in Psychology and I haven't been to Metaphysics yet, but I'm just going to assume from the size of the textbook that starting late might be a small problem.

Depressing Derby of Delectiblity

Gina why can't you/maybe can't go to Matt Good. Now what am I going to do?

Go by myself. Probably.

Can't think about not going. I'm melting........

Boogie Doogie Baby

Finally, Survivor is back! Ahhhh the world it right again. How happy am I that they brought Stephenie back? So happy! I'm totally rooting for her, tough chick.

Hmmm also, well, there is no also really. I was just saying that.

I'm lame.

I have to work tomorrow. That's even lamer than me.

Top 5 Things that are Lame Right Now:
5) my feet are cold
4) so is my nose
3) i'm sleepy
2) i'm lame
1) working tomorrow is lame

I should compile lists more often. Many hours of thought into that list right there.

Back to the also, totally lame guest speaker today.. he talked like Chip from Napoleon Dynamite. He has a PhD, he couldn't operate the button machiene to click between slides in PowerPoint. I can see all that education was wasted on him. I drew a picture of him during the lecture. Stompy cartoon will soon follow this post. Like maybe tomorrow or so.

I Will Always Be the Worst

The other day I was walking around campus with Angela, and we saw a squirrel. So I took a picture.
That was a good day. I like squirrels. They're funny. All that running and being cute.

I'm flipping out because this semester I seem to have lost all my brain power. Could be interesting. I've never failed all my classes at one time before. But physics and both biochem's aren't looking all that great right about now. Oh well. New motto: fuck school man!

Hey im Tom, im looking for a sexy girl to have some fun with.

Here you go Gina, I'm assisting in your slack off tendencies. I'll make it short so you can get back to work *lol*

I clicked on my title thing and this title came up. I don't know why, but it kicks some ass. And it was right there with a whole bunch of my old titles.

I know I've been post lazy but I've been way too busy. Stupid U of A, too much work. I basically have no idea what's going on in all of my classes and am pretty much fucked.

Work this weekend was terrible. I walked around for 12.5 hours and didn't even finish everything I was supposed to do, but I went home because I was mad and tired and hadn't eaten in 9.5hours. Bullshit is all I have to say about that.

And now my nose is sniffly because I was out in the rain and it was cold and windy. And now Family Guy is on and I'm watching it instead of reading my physics lab because I'm sick of physics and I've only been in school for 3 days. Good sign.

In other news, I got a microphone thingy today. It's cute and small and I'm going to record things. Secret things. Captain's Log, sky looks nice tonight... Spock? Spock where did you go? I'm cold all over :(

Ugh Arg

Today I watched tennis, 4 hours of it actually. I've never watched tennis before, it was pretty good. Definatly something I would watch again.
The one thing I don't like about it is how they scream/moan when they're hitting the ball. Kind of drives me crazy.

Anyway, I had to blog about something because the picture of the spider was creeping me out and I had nightmares about it and refused to sleep in my room and slept on the couch instead.

Tonight I feel sad because tomorrow is my last day of fulltime work and even though I hate my job more than anything, I'm sad to be leaving. And even though that is sooooo stupid I'm still sad.

Heart Attack a Thousand Times Over

So I was walking around my room trying to comfort my doggie because of the thunderstorm that was going on when I discovered the most horrifing thing in history:
A Spider. It looked just like this photo and it was on the outside of my window and I freaked out and started screaming and went out in the pouring rain and hosed it off my window.

Later I came back to my room and the little fucker was back, so I called in backup, my Dad and he killed it and I felt a lot better and I'm going to have nightmares tonight.