Do You Realize I'm Missing?

October 22, 2005

my bum hurts
the chair in my booth was beyond substandard and i couldn't stand and help customers because i am too tall to reach out the window to the cars
so i had to sit on the "rock" chair and now my bum hurts unbelievable
they told me my hair looked really nice
and i believed them for a minute or two
i look younger they say
when did i get my hair cut? they say
i say three weeks ago,
and i haven't been to work in a month
nothing has changed
oh wait, all new staff
all new staff on the verge of quitting because of poor pay and inadequate training
so i guess that remains the same
my fishies had their babies
and my mom won't stop freaking out about how much she loves them
and i'm trying to study and she comes in my room 900 times to see them
FishBabies
some are smaller and harder to find, they stay on the bottom
and somehow their talk about how nice my hair is has led me to take an extra shift tomorrow
because i'm a sucker for flattery due to i never hear any and all
one lady stood outside my booth and couldn't recognize me even though we've worked together for 3 years and i just don't understand that
in any case
i had vietnamese food for lunch today, and the leftovers for supper and they were yummy
my hands are black from newsprint
gross
i'm tired
i'm tired of being me
i'm tired of being me and running from who i am
i'm tired of being me and being ashamed of who i am
i'm depressed
it's late
stupid fucking job
keeps me up all night
and i have to go back tomorrow
they bribed me with compliments and candy and cream for my coffee
the 4 C's of getting Stephanie to do what you want

2 comments:

christy said...

i heart you, stephanie

even when you're down on yourself you do it in an adorably funny way that makes me want to squeeze you

you should come to texas so we can hang out :)

uglybutterfly said...

That picture you've got up there is of Stephanie the Uber Babe.
And you're a fishy grandma to boot!

Cheer up!

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