Sometimes I don't like to drink Water

Half of my fishtank is dead.

I accidentally licked my finger, and it had doggie medicine on it; it tastes just like tylenol.

My doggie got sick last night and I stayed up most of the night taking her out into the backyard so she could puke, then I went to work for 12 hours where I yelled like a crazy person at customers and then got mad because a coworker was joking that I have bad customer service.

One lady almost drove through my gate this morning, I yelled at her to stop and I scared my boss. She was like 80 and didn't put her car in park. She was confused why me and the building were moving.

Sometimes I wish all my coworkers would quit and I'd be the only one and then I could have a really big raise.

I'm scared that when I'm a teacher I'll swear at the kids, I've got kind of a pirate mouth.

Speaking of pirates, eye patches are fun.

In response to Gina's birth control post - sometimes side effects are the best part mwaha

Have you ever felt like you just want too much sex? Your night "on the town" is ruined by a particular longing?

Well, here's the answer...



New non-prescription Libi-NO (a clever play on libido!) will solve all of your problems. Basically new non-prescription Libi-NO gets rid of your libido and eliminates all need for sex, in other words: It brings all the side effects of the birth control pill times a million!

In fact, it doesn't have any of the properties of the birth control pill except the side effects! Marvelous.

You might be wondering, how can just a product be affordable to me, a cheap bum? Well, for a limited time, we're offering Libi-NO for just $9.99 plus the cost of shipping.

But wait, there's more! Order now, and we'll throw in that nifty kitchen grasper thing that retails for at least $4.99, you know the one I'm talking about folks. You can pick up pancakes with it!

Brought to you by the people at The Other Drug Company Co.

First Response Blasphemy

OK, I saw this TV commercial tonight for a home pregnancy test. I believe it was First Response, but I'm not 100% sure.

This commercial claims that there is such a thing as being "a little bit pregnant". Ummmm, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you either pregnant or not? I was under the impression that there is no "little bit pregnant".

In other news, I trained a new girl at work today. I don't like her. She changed my radio station to hip hop music, and I was totally content in listening to rock. She's only a year younger than me, but she seems like she's 5 years younger than me at least. Nothing in common, nothing to chat about. Boring boring long day.

Centipedes and other such Horrors

I found a centipede on my floor yesterday. I almost passed out. I just vacuumed a couple days ago. Where did it come from? I don't know, but I now have a strong desire to clean and disinfect everything in my room.

I also found a spider a few days ago. I think he crawled in through my window, because the screen doesn't close properly. So now my window is closed and my room is really warm.

Star Wars: Attack of that Really Hot Guy

OK, so I saw Star Wars tonight with Gina and John. I liked it. I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, like I can't really recall what happened in the other ones except I remember the Ewoks are cute and that Laya has the bun thing happening and stuff. Just stupid little minor details.

But this one was good. Very good graphics I thought, and that guy who plays Vader is super yummy. So that was a total bonus.

Other than that, my day was filled with boring boring repetitive tasks.

Also, Yoda is really cute. Flying around and with the little green light saber thing, awww.

This stupid customer at work today tried to run E-on's gate. Stupid lady, it crashed on her car. You can't just drive through the gate. So that really set the tone for the rest of the day, customers yelling, customers not understanding their price, customers yelling because they don't want to pay GST.

I got home just in time for Trailer Park Boys. That show kicks serious ass.

I'm Feeling Very Olympic Today

I watched Cool Runnings when I got home from work.. That movie always makes me cry.. The way they carry the bobsled across the finish line, I'm a total gonner by that point.

I went to Big Al's today to purchase a background for the tank.. they were closed, so I was just acting like an idiot. Nothing new there.

My boss had a nervous breakdown at work. Lately it seems like I'm the only sane person working there, theft & fraud, breakdowns, we're just a parking lot & shuttle service for pity's sake. Although most of the time I kind of am ready to start yelling at my customers. Don't ask me for a complimentary journal sir, that's rude. What you have 20 cents? Well I made your change like 5 minutes ago while you were looking for it and now there are 10 people in line behind you so no, I will not give you a loonie back. Here are some pennies instead jerk.

I hate who I am at this job. So angry and just completely full of rage. And finally there was a silver lining, I found the speakers for the computer so I could actually listen to something other than talk radio.. yeah, someone stole them. No more cd's for me. good old talk radio.. I'm glad tomorrow is Sunday, I've got the Ukranian hour to look forward to.

So that's basically what happened to me today.

I want to see Star Wars. I really like Natalie Portman, and that guy who plays that guy is pretty hot. Natalie Portman wore really nice dresses in one of those other Star Wars movies, I dont know which one.

But that reminds me of something hilarious I saw the other day. I was driving by the movie theater wednesday night and all these people, like 40 of them, were dressed up as Star Wars guys and were fighting with light sabers. I almost got in an accident it was hilarious.

Drinking makes life more Fun!

Cocktail


?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

EDIT: the stupid picture doesn't work.. that's dumb and I'm mad. It took at least 3 minutes to take this quiz and now the picture doesn't work.

Purgery is Today's Modern Art

I'm stealing a photo and I didn't even know it. I totally didn't mean to. It belongs to Saturine. The first Matt Good pic on the sidebar.

I honnestly don't know what I was thinking, and now feel like a total idiot. I just remember saving it to my computer, and then when I actually figured out how to change my sidebar, which took like a month, I had this photo and I had no idea where it had come from, so I just put it on.

So total credit to Saturine for making the photo. And while I'm at it, I dont' know where the Starbucks photo or the other matt good photo are from.. But people who are not me deserve credit for them.

I got a new fish tank, it's ginormous. I can't wait to put some fishies in it. I got a filter today and I put the rocks in and now its a bitching pimped out fish tank that is wicked awesome. Except I'm scared it's so heavy it might fall through my drawers. Oh well.

Work is stupid and crazy and nuts. I trained a guy names Ian today.. but all day I kept calling him E-on.. like in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And it was funny and I laughed at him and then he ended up comming into town with me for lunch and it was beyond weird.

But it was OK, training I mean, because it meant that I didn't have to do any work all day, just sit and watch E-on do all the cashing. And it was boring and dumb all rolled into one.

And the Insecurity Sets In

I was just told that I look really weird in these glassess. And now I feel bad. I'm sad because I thought they were pretty cute, but apparently I just look stupid.

Why does this always happen. Why is it that whenever I even remotely feel a little bit OK about myself, someone else always has to interfere with that and make me feel like a fool.

I know I'm not pretty, and I'm not skinny and on and on, but for one second in my life I would like to feel like life is more than who wears a size 2 pant size. And in all honnestly, I know this seems like I'm making excuses for why I don't wear a size 2 pant size.

And I am.

But not anymore.

Make me in the Image of Your Perfection is back online starting tomorrow.

The Church Looks Nicer at Night

My Dark Secret Escapes

Fuzzy Teddy Bears all March in a Line - Like the Army

Sometimes things are crazy. Like maybe someone at work gets arrested and then you get a secret promotion. I can't say for sure that that happened to me, the secret promotion that is, but I could certainly hint at it.

I'm not supposed to talk about the promotion, basically because my boss is getting special hours to create a shift for me so that I can work around my school schedule. While is actually amazingly flattering. Then he said I write good memos.

I don't know why they don't fire me, I keep losing money. Stupid small amounts, just enough to be annoying and really really irritating. (Notice that I can't even think of two words that are remotely different from each other).

Gina's computer is in the shop. It has porn. Everytime you open anything like 50 porn sites open up. The porn virus. And now I'm sad, because my one reader has dissapeared, and she will miss all this exciting information about nothing.

Too bad really.

You Only Hear What You Want, That's Why You Like Listening

It's hard to believe so much insanity can stem from such a kickass bottle.

But last night, the insanity was abundant. It started off harmlessly, jello shots and drinking games. But soon progressed to all out scariness and kind of a horror of myself.

We were sitting around a fire at Gina's having a jolly good time and somehow I drank way more than my share of vodka. Then I was begging her brother not to tell my brother how drunk I was, and her dad was mad at me for swearing so loudly. This was followed by some kind of conversation about how it's good that me and Gina are drinking buddies, although I have no recollection of this and Gina had to tell me.

Then I guess I asked Lyndsey to get me my purse and I decided to go home. But being the logical girl I am, I thought, hey what if the police catch me walking around with an open bottle of vodka, that would probably be bad. So, I dumped the whole bottle onto Gina's lawn and started off for home. I had walked down the street and then I saw a car comming, I got scared and threw the bottle into the field (there's that logic again). I walked a little bit more and then another car came along, I got spooked as it came towards me so I ran into the field and then proceeded to lie down and hide beside a fence.

After laying there for a while I started to think about maybe doggies go to the bathroom there and maybe I shouldn't lie there anymore. So I got up and walked the rest of the way home. I managed to get the garage door unlocked and stumble into my bedroom..

This morning when Gina called my cell, I found my purse neatly stashed in my underwear drawer.

Driving down the street today with Gina, we noticed that my "awesome" throw to get rid of the bottle actually landed 2 feet away from the sidewalk. I got out of the car and brought the bottle home.

I'm never drinking again.

I've Lost My Bananas!

Banana plant that is. It was in my tank yesterday, but today it has disappeared. I don't understand where it went. And its a think little plant, like bananas, looks like a bundle of bananas and now it has dissapeared.

I got a digital camera. It's so cute. Small and silver, with a black stripe around it that looks like a little ribbon, so it looks like a present. So every time I look at it I feel like I'm getting a present. Hehe, but I can't get the software to upload onto my comp, I'm a dumbass. My dad will have to figure it out.



In any case. I'm getting really drunk tomorrow and I can't fucking wait. I haven't gone drinking in a long long time and Gina's having a super kick-ass fire/drinking party at her house.

Something I love From MBlog, Take 2

OK Friends, the Day Has Finally Come. Stompy and Nerd are back!

Somehow it's screwing up the sidebar, so I had to post a small version here, click on it so you can read the text.



Join Stompy and Nerd next time, when they'll travel far far away!

Hey there's Antlers, What are Those About?

Night out with the girls. Driving around followed by vodka and a game of pool. The hilariousness and drinking a bottle of wine in a state of pure hilarity.

Somehow everything is just way funnier when you're drinking wine out of a bottle. It's way better than using a glass. So much fun to be had.

I spent the rest of the day at my stupid job, where my manager proceeded to tell me that scientists now don't believe in evolution because it's just a theory and there's no evidence and that there is lots and lots of evidence for what's written in the bible. And almost I wanted to laugh at her, but then she'd spread rumors of me being a psychotic bitch, which is only partially true, so I just said that it was nice that she likes God. (nothing against religious people) and then I asked what kind of scientists said they don't believe in evolution, and she said they were Christian scientists, and after that I did laugh a little.

It's 10:10 PM, and it's Time For Bed

I feel like that commercial. "It's 9PM, do you know where your kids are?" Except I don't have kids, and it's later than 10, but kind of just the general idea.

Work is dumb. Now they want me to be the boss, but with all kinds of stupid things to do and stuff, and it's only a 25 cent raise. So I was like, bugger off bummbee. That's dumb and stupid and I'll only to it for a super huge raise and also if I can wear my pink shoes all the time with crimpy hair and be the fashionista of the airport. And then I will laugh at people who are not as awesome as me.

And I'm being so dumb and self centered right now that I know I've only have 6 hours of sleep for the past 2 days. That's total friends, not each night. No sleep the first night, which would have been OK if I had been doing something awesome, but I was just laying in bed doing nothing, so not as good as it could have been.

Anyhoo, Off to pass out now.

Sleep Perchance to Dream

OK, so something amazing happened to me today. And it cost more than a pair of shoes. I won this amazing auction on EBAY, for this incredible copy of Loser Anthems B Sides & Rarities from the Matthew Good Band. It cost a mint, but I'm in extreme euphoria, as it is a copy of only 500 released.



It's blue. The other 15,000 copies are red/sepia. So now I have two. Ahhhhhh. I'm so happy today I could die/scream/faint/orgasm.

And my red/sepia collectors copy is a low number, which makes it even more awesome. And plus is has super awesome songs on it, which is also a plus.

Good day today.. very glad I didn't have to work.

2 1/2 hours I will never ever ever ever ever have back

I saw Sin City today. I really only had one reaction while watching the movie. I wanted to poke my eyes out with the straw that was in my Dr. Pepper. It had a good cast, I honnestly don't even know what to say about the plot.

It was narrated in this really really weird way, and I found myself wondering why it was being narrated at all.

I did love the special effects. How eyes were bluer, and dresses were redder.

Nick Stahl was in it. Ahh how I love him.. Carnivale is on tonight. He is so yummy I could scream, but I watch it with my mom so I refrain myself.

I'm an 80's Rock Star

My bangs look rad. I didn't like them yesterday, but now I look like I'm sporting the hippest bangs of the century.

Also, when I flip my head around they go crazy grungy and flippy floppy all over the place and then fall back where they're supposed to be just as the chorus of the song starts to play and I'm jamming around some more.



Sometimes, when I think no one is looking, I start singing out loud at work. And then my boss will show up and be like "are you singing again crazy girl?"

And today the super boss showed up, that's my bosses boss just so we're clear. But she's this super "modern" dressing bitch lady that I hate but I laugh at all her jokes so she'll think that I like her.

And I said, maybe I should change my shoes before she comes. And my boss looked bewildered. Then I explained that I was not wearing black shoes (which is the uniform) and that mine were in fact pink. He was probably so bewildered because I have in fact never work black shoes to work in the 3 years that I've been there, so it's kind of the norm.. But I ended up wearing my pink shoes with sparkles on them, which are super awesome. And all was good.

In A Snap It's All Gone

I got a haircut today. I like it mostly. Not completely. But I'm getting used to it.

This is kind of what it looks like:



So that's about all that happened today.

Me and Gina are starting a Fish Blog

I don't know how that's going to go, but we'll see.

Google Yourself, It's Fun!

OK, So I googled the site. And guess what>!! It came up #1 on the search! Yeah
I felt awesome and happy and extatic and full of bubblyness all at once.

Also I Googled Gina's Site: Sometimes You Just Don't Know
but she didn't come up under the search and I felt sad.

But something that did come up was this

I Wish I Was A Teenage SuperModel

Mainly I wish this because I long for a complete escape from reality.. I spent all day at my Baba's. Bored out of my mind.

I wish I could spend all day in a designer dress, sipping martini's and talking about how fab I am. And then I would dash off to the ladies room to "powder my nose" which I kind of just possibly realized means: snort as much coke as possible so that when I'm sipping my martini I'm extra funny.

In any case, today was super boring, but I did purchase the new Beck CD; Guero. It's up there on the scale of radness. It makes me move my shoulders from side to side feeling like I'm chillin in da most awesome funk-tastic moment of my life. Na na na na na na.

I've given up on the book.. To much lameness I feel. Wasn't going anywhere. I didn't really have any ideas, so boo to that one. I'll have to make millions in some pyramid scheme along the way. That seems almost more logical that the sky being blue. If you know what I'm saying.

Anyway, I've decided to revamp the layout once again.. Everytime I look at it I feel like there's an empty hole in my tummy, so updates are on the way. But currently I'm not in the mood altough I keep adding and the sidebar gets longer and longer and not any prettier, but longer.

Stompy and Nerd will be returning, as I feel my humor drought possibly comming to an end. Hurrah!

Oh, and Happy Easter to all the chillin Ukranians out there! Three Cheers for paska my friends.