You're Caught in a Web of Lies

February 20, 2005

Back in September 2004, I lost all rational brain function. I came home from work one day and my Mom said she saw something on TV that she thought I should join. It was a bootcamp. I thought, 'hey, I wanna get in shape, this will do it' and I joined. Sooo stupid.

I will never forget the two days of bootcamp that I endured before I realized that I had lost my mind and it was taking me way to long to walk to class because I couldn't move my fingers without extreme pain. So I quit. These army guys were the kind that are so scary they'll yell at you because they don't like the color of your shoes. Even though you think you're shoes are wicked.


I remember exactly what that crazy army guy said while we were standing in army posture. "Under no circumstances are you to fraternize with us, do not invite us to your barbeque this weekend, we already have friends, there will be no relationship outside of this class."

Now, seeing as how he was this huge guy I was a little more than inclined to believe him, that is until I went for lunch with my family today. There he is at the restaurant with this girl I knew from high school who had also been in the bootcamp, much to my dismay. And there they were, on a DATE! Oh, ok so when you said no socializing you only were only talking to the people who were out of shape, and not the cute girl in short shorts. My mistake.

Interestingly, I was the only one from the group to resist authority. Warm up was a 50 minute run around the river valley, including hills and stairs. Seeing as how I hadn't run a step in 4 years, I was at a slight disadvantage in running ability. We were on the way back and I was really far behind, mainly because of the nausea and the blurry vision.

Army guy said: "Come on, just run up the hill, do it now!"
And then I said: "You run up the hill, I'm going to puke behind that tree."


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