You Know He's Seen You Naked a Million Times

February 11, 2005

I've always been a believer in love... but my faith is starting to fade. I've only ever had one real relationship. It was more than a disaster, it was absolutely catastrophic. We dated on and off for four year, the last two years we were on straight. And then one day he broke up with me. If he had answered with a simple "I don't love you anymore" when I asked him why, I think I would have been a lot happier.

Instead when I asked why, he told me he had been hired by foreigners to design weapons, so I was in danger by associating with him. The amazing thing about this was that he really really seemed to believe it. For the next year he completely strung me along, always telling me he loved me and he wanted to be with me.

One day I woke up and told him to fuck off. I told him that if he ever saw me to pretend that he didn't know me, because it had finally dawned on me that he didn't.

Of course there have been a few other guys, one of them almost as screwed up as the weapons designer. He broke up with me because I wouldn't fuck him, I was only 15 at the time. I later found out that he had been exchanging emails with my best friend telling her how much he liked her while we had been dating. He went on to date my best friend, and another friend after her.

Recently I've started to wonder: why do I attract such disaster? Is it me? Or just really bad luck?


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