Comming to you like a Whore from the Old Book

I'm fucking lonely. All my buddies just left my stupid Oscar party. But it was awesome cause we had yummy chicken wings and veggies and salad, and garlic bread and yummy yummy chocolate pie. And we played Scattegories while we watched, and it was loads of fun. And then we drank pop in martini glasses and pretended we were awesome cool. Because we are.

And now I'm lonely, and I should be studying, but I'm addicted to blogging, because blogging is my drug of choice.

And I'm depressed because I'm not Halle Berry, because she looked so amazing tonight. And I wish I could be that pretty, just for one second in my life. And then the realization comes that it will never happen, and I realize that I'm just feeling sorry for myself, and feel dumb for being so dumb. And then I'm sad because Halle Berry's husband cheated on her, and if guys are dumb enough to cheat on her, then how will I ever be enough?

And I'm not sleepy, just bored out of my fucking mind. And I tried researching Buddism, but I couldn't find anything useful yet. So maybe I should buy a book like "Buddism for Dummies". I'm sure they must have one, cause they have a dummy book for everything. Like cooking, and sex, and probably other things as well.

And now I'm happy again, mainly anyway, because that's how chicks are. Crazy I mean.

Sometimes I wonder who I was in my past lives. Was I super awesome? Like Helen of Troy, that would have been cool. Maybe I had a canopy bed, I hope so. Because I really like canopy beds.

Or Mary Magdelene, that would have been another one. And it ties in with my awesome Whore title. Cause those crazy Catholics made her out to be a common street prostitute, but actually she was Jesus' awesome girlfriend/wife chick, and that seems better than being a prostitute in my opinion. And so here's a secret, she is the whore of the old book, cause the old book is... The Bible! But she probably didn't have a canopy bed back then, but I think that that's OK. I guess that's the downfall of being Jesus' wife, not having a canopy bed.

And now I'm sad because no one reads my stupid blog. So what is the fucking point? I don't fucking know. And now I'm swearing a lot. Probably cause I was a fucking pirate in a past life. Maybe even Captain Hook. Dustin Hoffman was fucking awesome as Captain Hook in that movie Hook, with Robin Williams as Peter Pan.

Yupp, that's probably it. I was DEFINATELY a pirate. And also maybe a queen. You can never be sure about these things. Unless you go to a past life specialist. Then you would know for sure. But I have no money, so I'm just going to decide for myself.

And pirates are awesome cause they get awesome theme songs, and swords are also awesome. So fighting with them must be wicked fun.

In here, everything sounds the same.