Panic Craving Carb Cruncher

It's been two weeks since my pre-interview for a job I sort of applied for.  I finally heard back today and am going for an actual interview on Thursday.  At first I was extremely excited, it's a really tough competition, but getting an interview is a great sign, there are only a couple of people who are getting one.

Now I'm kind of panicked.  With panic I usually just stuff my face, crackers, chips, something salty and crunchy.  As I type this it's turning into complete anxiety.  I've needed a job for so long, it's a little overwhelming.

At least the typing kind of sounds like crunching, the salt I can do without, and instead of carbs I'm having water.

Lately I've been eating some kind of fiber cereal for breakfast, 110 cal for 3/4 cup, Fiber Plus maybe?  Anyway, I ran out, wrote it on the list, but the wrong cereal was brought home.  This new one is 260 cal for 3/4 cup.  No way - that's not happening. 

Instead I had Rice Krispies, something I've always loved.  110 cal for 1 cup, plus 1/2 cup skim milk for 45 cal.  I feel unsatisfied.  I'm hungry, stomach growling.  Banana time I think. 

Shrinking - Weekly Weigh In

Down 4 lbs this week!

This is amazing, I survived the movie theater and a cookie exchange (with soooo many delicious looking things) - which I should not have signed up for in the first place.

So 2 NSV's and a 4 lbs scale victory! Woot!

As for my weight. Well, I've decided to go by what my scale says, and assume that my starting weight was actually 8lbs higher than I thought *shudder*

So my new weight is 240.5 lbs (232.5 lbs if you subtract that 8)

NSV - Tangled

Tonight I went to see the movie Tangled.  A friend and I were supposed to see it on my birthday, but it had sold out by the time we got there, though we were quite early.  Anyway, we finally got around to seeing it.

All I can really say is that is was delightful.  The plot was great, the little chameleon, Pascal,  was super cute, the animation was great.  Overall is was extremely enjoyable.  I had always wondered why Rapunzel had such long hair, and now I finally know.

My NSV - well, first off, my favorite thing in the world is popcorn.  If I had to choose anything to eat it would be warm popcorn with butter and salt. Yummo.  Movie theater popcorn is pretty much the popcorn supreme.  Normally the smell of the theater completely overwhelms me when I walk inside - but tonight, no effect!  I wasn't even remotely tempted, I walked by the concession, sat in my seat and pulled out my 1L bottle of water and sipped through the movie!

I've Got a Problem

Well I've ignored my blog for almost 3 weeks ... sorry guys.  I just got lazy for a while.

I've been following Allan's Challenge - and things are going great so far.

I've been losing, haven't been cheating.  Things are going well.

Up until a couple days ago.  On Sunday I weighed in at 236.6lbs, down 1lb from the previous weigh in. 

Now here's the problem, the next day I went out and bought a new scale, as the one I had wasn't that great.  I used the new scale the next morning, and it added 8 lbs to my weight!  I thought maybe it was just an irregularity, so I checked again the next day, and the next, I'm now down 1 lb from the original 8 lb "gain".  I'm thinking maybe my original scale had my weight wrong this whole time ... but now I'm not sure what weight to use.  Should I just use the number on the new scale?  Or should I subtract 8 lbs from the new scale weight?

I try not to weigh myself other places, like the gym, because it's not first thing in the morning, and the little gain from the water and food usually bums me out so I avoid it.

Any advice would be appreciated :)

*EDIT: I just wanted to be clear that this is not a BS post where I actually went mental and ate 8 lbs worth of calories, I've been sticking to my 1200 cal and drinking all the water.

Weekly Weigh In

Well I'm stalled at 237.5 lbs - no loss this week.

I'm not really surprised, I didn't get in all my water for a couple of days, and I ate a couple meals that were really high in sodium.  I'm kind of depressed about it - but, I'm on track again today. 

So Today is like day 1 all over again.  Getting in all my liquids, eating no more than 1200 cal.

I've signed up for part 3 of the Challenge, and I'm excited for it. 

I haven't been blogging b/c we're having an issue with our internet at the moment.  But it's cleared up (as far as I know anyway). 

On the plus side, I've finally got a lead on a job - so I'm really hoping I get it.  Haven't gone for an interview yet, but my pre-interview went well.  And I did good on the assessment exams.  So, fingers crossed!

Waking Young and Feeling Old

Well it was my birthday on Friday - the big 28.  I always find it to be bittersweet.  It's kind of like the feeling you get at New Year's when you realize you're still fat and didn't lose any weight.  I don't make New Year's resolutions, but I pretty much psych myself up that next year I'll be skinny on my birthday.

The pants on the left are the pants I am currently wearing.  I hate them.  They're a size 22, and I hate everything about them.  The way they fit, the color, the size, the way they look.

The pants on the right are my goal pants.  They fit me 10 years ago.  They're my lucky pants.  A lot of things went downhill after those jeans stopped fitting.   I know I've said it before.  But this year is going to be different.  I'm dedicated to losing this weight.  And on November 19, 2011; I will be posting a picture of me wearing those jeans.  They're not even stretch jeans, they regular, before I was fat, real denim jeans.  With a butterfly patch covering a hole in the knee caused by a rollerblading accident, yup, from exercise.

Weekly Weigh In

Down 2 lbs this week, sitting at 237.5 lbs now.

It's much easier to drink the water these days ... but I have had a couple days where I didn't want to drink anything at all, and it was a chore all day to drink.

More later ....

Chip Eater

During my final year of University, both my brother and I were living with my grandma.  I was kind of living there on a part time basis, driving to and from my parents, and my brother was there full time.  After my first degree, it was deemed that my time was up, and my brother got the basement suite I had been living in.

Anyway,  one evening, my brother, my grandma and I were sitting around watching TV.  This was a pretty standard evening.  Out of the blue, my grandma says, "Stephanie ... there are two types of people in the world."  My heart catches a little bit, because it's usually this kind of opener that leads to a slightly - if not significantly - racist remark, but give her a break, she's elderly and has been through a lot.  (Though I do often end up yelling at some most of her remarks).

Then this happens: "There are two types of people in the world ... tea drinkers and chip eaters.  Dan and I are tea drinkers, but you Stephanie ... are a chip eater."

I should mention that I was NOT eating chips at the time.

At the time that this conversation took place, it seemed like one of those "grandma" moments, but looking back I see a lot of wisdom in the comment.  My brother, tea drinker, didn't eat chips - he was on the University soccer team (starting goalie - so proud!),  totally fit, exceptional grades (now in medical school).  My grandma - though not in her healthy weight range - eats mostly healthy things, she does love pizza .. and butter.  And while both of them do eat chips on occasion, it's rarely a whole bag at once. 

It's four years later (approximately - counting is hard) and this conversation still resonates with me.  I AM a chip eater!  I love them.  I love a lot of crunchy things that are terrible for me, but chips top the list.  BBQ especially.  But not this new age mesquite bbq business, I like the old school flavor that is now only found in the boxed version of Old Dutch.

We're veering off topic and I might be drooling a bit - With Allan's Challenge, and my previous attempts to lose weight, I have, obviously, given up my chip eating ways.  Tonight I thought, if I'm no longer a chip eater, maybe I can be a tea drinker?


One of my University habits (along with daily exercise) was a cup of Sleepy Time with a tiny bit of maple syrup (invented when I ran out of honey) - but this only lasted a couple years, and was early in my first degree, before my full fledged chip eater days.  Anyway, tonight I decided to revive my tea drinking days, with half a teaspoon honey (30 cals - not sure it was worth it to be honest, but maybe I just didn't steep enough).

So here I am ... Stephanie - Former Chip Eater --->  Current Tea Drinker

A Night Out

I'm braving the cold temperature to go see Dan Mangan tonight.  I've heard great things about his live show, so I'm looking forward to it.

Have a good one!

Weekly Weight In - late!

I'm down 0.5 lbs this week, landing me at 239.5 lbs

ugh.

Movies, Water and Food - Oh My!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I went to see an advanced screening of Morning Glory on Monday night.

I expected a typical, follow the numbers, kind of movie.  But I was pleasantly surprised.  I guess that's what happens when you go in with low expectations.

The plot was a bit predictable, but was acted well and was a lot funnier than I thought it was going to be.  I figured I had seen all of the funny moments in the movie trailer on TV, but that was not the case at all.    Definitely a chick flick - but overall enjoyable.

I never realized how much I missed Jeff Goldblum - why isn't that guy in more movies?  Or why can't I remember him in more movies may actually be the case.   He was delightful in The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou.

Son of Double Dog Dare You Challenge News 

I've noticed from all my blog reading that a few people doing the challenge have seen a gain so far this week.  That's the case with me as well.  Originally I was up 4 lbs.  I almost fainted when I saw that number on Tuesday.  Currently I'm 2 lbs over my Sunday weigh in weight.

Does anyone know why this might be?  Is it just the body adjusting to the increase in water?

In any case,  I'm sticking to my 1200 calories a day and drinking all my water.  I'm not going to let my evil scale win this time.  I'm not giving up - I'm sure the scale will start to fall in the right direction. 

Daily Totals:

• Water: 128.3 oz
• Diet Root Beer: 12 oz
• Calories: 1243

Late Night - Can't Sleep

Today was better than yesterday...  it's much easier to suck all that water back, you start to crave it, well, I do anyway. 

My water was split into 2 sections.  2L between 8am-3pm then 2L between 7pm-11pm.  I don't recommend drinking so much water near a time you may be thinking of going to sleep... I can't sleep, I just pee.

But, I fell asleep on the couch, my dog kept me up last night, so, not much sleep took place.  It never fails, if I have to get up early, she needs to go out in the middle of the night.  *insert sigh here*

Anyway,  totals for the day:

• Calories: 1111
• Water: 135.2 oz
• Milk: 12 oz
• Diet 7-Up: 12 oz
• Fluid Total 159.2 oz

My weight is up a couple pounds, I'm hoping this is from the increase  in water, I've been eating in my calorie range, so that's not it. 

I went to an advanced screening of Morning Glory on Monday - I'll post a little something about it tomorrow (today I guess, you know, during daytime hours).

Waterblogging

I stole my title from a comment I read on someone's blog - but I can't remember where.

The guru Allan has spoken.  According to Allan I need to consume a minimum of 111 oz of water a day or 131 oz if I want to maximize my weight loss.

So how did Day 1 play out? Well.  I ate my 1200 calories.  I drank 118.3 oz of water, 8 oz of milk, and a can of diet Root Beer (12 oz approx).

I had to force myself to eat supper I was so full from all the water.  I'm usually pretty good at planning ahead for meals, but lately I've kind of lost the desire, but I really need to focus on that again this week, seeing as I didn't see a loss last week, and that's probably part of the problem.

Tomorrow should be interesting ... it's my first day working having to consume all this water.  When it was just the 64 oz I would drink 32 oz during work, then save the rest for the evening, but there's no way I can do that with the increase in fluids.  So it should be interesting.  I know the school, and the room I'll be in is, thankfully, right across the hallway from the staff washroom.  As a sub I hate leaving students alone, so I'll try to maximize break times, but I'm sure I'll have to pop out for a few minutes.

Hope everyone had a great first day, and an even better second!

DDDY Weigh In #2

Well I maintained my weight this week, still sitting at 240.0 lbs. 

While I'm sad I didn't lose, maintaining is actually better than what I was thinking would happen.  The dreaded TOM is here, and I usually gain, not to mention feel the need to eat everything in a 5km radius. 

Part 2 of the challenge starts tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.  Hopefully I'll see a few pounds fall off this week. 

There is still time to join the Double Dog Dare You Challenge, if you want, go check out Allan.

Small Victory

First off: Hello to all the new followers!  Thanks for following!  I hope you enjoy the blog :)  I swear, whenever I see the tally of people following grow I get happier and happier :)

Second:  I'm staying at my grandma's again tonight.  It's been a long 6 hours ... I know that sounds harsh, but I'd say 95% of the 6 hours has been her trying to get me to eat Halloween candy, chips, ice cream, crackers, and pretty much anything else you can think of.

Normally I'm kind of tempted, moderately tempted,  completely tempted, but today, all I could think about was how full I was from all the water I was drinking.  I must have walked by the Halloween candy about 30 times.  So if we're keeping a tally, 1 point Allan, 0 points grandma.  Small victory for me!

Third:  I found a career fair to go to, it's put on by the city, so I hope it'll be alright.  It's being held on my birthday, so maybe I'll get a bit of birthday luck and something will pan out.

Despite my depression/anxiety the past few days, I took a look back at the past couple of month and realized that this year has been my busiest for subbing.  I'm getting way more jobs than I usually do, so I just need to relax a little.  Stress is bad for weight loss so I need to calm down before it starts to show on the scale.

Speaking of scales, I was telling my mom about Allan's challenge and she's intrigued.  Now a normal person would simply give her the link to Allan's blog, but, as I've kept my actual weight a secret from her and the rest of my family, as well as this blog (which has been a secret since it started, they know I write it, they just can't view it) ... so, instead I'm feeding her the information.  I think she may try to play along.  She wants to lose a bit of weight, but honestly, she really doesn't need to lose much.

This is GREAT news for me, because it means that there will be 2 of us (out of 3) that will be trying to hit 1200 calories a day... which should make for less temptation in the fridge and pantry, as well as balanced meals no matter who's doing the cooking.

November Goals

I've been feeling extremely anxious and depressed today.  It all centers around the fact that I'm only working part time. 

I'm a substitute teacher, desperately wanting a full time job, but those are few and far between, and the ones that become available have such a high competition rate that it's pretty much swinging in the dark.  Really the only choice I have if I want to be a teacher is to move to some small town.  So I'm going to start looking into that.  It's not something that I particularly want to do, but, I don't really see another option at the moment regarding teaching.

So my goal for November, is to seriously look into finding an out of town teaching job.  Also, I'm going to start applying for City and Government jobs.  I must be qualified for something, I have a Bachelor of Science and a Bachelor of Education. 

It's frustrating to me, and when I get like this I want to eat a truckload of candy/chocolate/chips - anything I can shove in my mouth really.

I know that if I had stability in my career life the weight thing would be a lot easier.  When I was doing one of my student teaching rounds, I lost 15 lbs without drastically changing my diet or adding exercise.  When I have a routine I just naturally eat 3 meals with a light snack. 

So November goals:

• stick to 1200 calories a day
• drink a minimum of 64 oz of water a day
• attend a career fair
• look into teaching out of town :(

DDDY Challenge Day 8 - Weigh In

Well, after a week on Allan's Double Dog Dare You Challenge I have lost 2 lbs.  So I'm down to 240 lbs!  Now, those that have actually been following my blog will probably remember that I seem to be gaining and losing the same 2 lbs, which is discouraging.  But I think week 2 of the challenge will get me out of this slump.

Hope everyone had a great weigh in, and has a great day!

Monster Ballads and the Stations of the Cross

As expected, the Josh Ritter concert was nothing less than phenominal.
It was my first time attending a folk/rock concert in a church.  The McDougall United Church was a lovely venue, but the next time I go see a show in a church I'm bringing a pillow for my bum (which was numb after about 30 minutes).  He played 99% of the songs that I was wanting to hear, which is always a nice thing. Highlights for me included: Monster Ballads, The Temptation of Adam, Harrisburg, and Other Side.

One thing that always seems to make Josh's shows stand out from other live acts is how incredibly gracious he is to his band, and how grateful he is to the crowd for attending.  He's continually saying thank you, and pointing out band members to ensure that they're applauded as well (with good reason as they're amazing musicians).  At the end of the show, which was a solid 2 hours with no breaks, he put his arms around his band-mates and they bowed.  I haven't seen that in a long long time. 

Also delightful is just how random the show actually is.  During "Wolves" he got down on his knees and started baying at the moon ... during another song, he insisted that everyone in the church stand and slow dance with the person next to them (boy or girl, it all works) for 30 seconds.  It's so random and amusing.  He danced with his guitar, goofy, silly and amazingly amusing fun.

He left with promises of returning in the summer ... I'm guessing that means the Folk Festival ... I'm hoping he plays both Edmonton and Calgary, so I can go to both!

DDDY Challenge Update:

I am still on plan!  Coming in very close to 1200 calories a day.  Drinking a minimum of 2L of water a day... though now that I'm consistently drinking 2L I've found that it's not always enough, and am getting closer to 3L a day. 

I'm nervous about tomorrow's weigh in, I had a spike in my weight today, but I'm 99% sure it's due to some extra sodium yesterday.  Let's hope it just falls off again.

"It's nice to start the day with a nature video.  It makes things seem really good no matter how bad things are.  At least you're not a gazelle ... those guys have it rough."
            -Josh Ritter

I've been waiting for tonight for a long time.  One of my favorite musicians, Josh Ritter, is gracing Edmonton with his presence.

This will be my third time seeing him live - the first time after just discovering his music, and being treated to an Amazing live show - full of so much energy.  The second at the Calgary Folk Music Festival a few years ago, which I went to basically to see Josh Ritter as well as Andrew Bird (who may not float everyone's boat - but, is soo talented).

Anyway, here's a taste:

Double Dog Dare Day 3 - Part 2

I should buy stock in a toilet paper company or something - I've never peed this much in my life.  Clearly I've been slacking off in my water consumption up until this challenge.

Today was pretty good, not as good as yesterday, but I'm clocking in with 1246 calories (46 over) and 72 ounces of water so far. 

I skipped out on the gym again, but I'm feeling better, so gym for sure tomorrow.  I always feel better when I go anyway, well, not during the actual exercise, but after it's over.  Maybe it's just relief that it's over lol.

It's 9:45pm, I really feel like eating something sweet.  I think I'll drink some more water instead.

Double Dog Dare Day 3 - Part 1

Good news bloggarino's - the scale is once again moving in the right direction!  Woot - I'm feeling happy and full after a 320 cal breakfast.  I know, I'm eating breakfast pretty late, but I slept in because I'm still not feeling well.  Stupid sinuses. 

Time to run some errands, then off to the gym, or maybe just some time on my treadmill at home.  We'll see.

Hope day 3 is going well for everyone!

Double Dog Dare Day 2

Well it's day 2 of the challenge.  Things are going relatively ok - I woke up to a half pound gain ... so, lets blame that on - I dunno - the position of the moon, considering I was totally on track yesterday.  I am feeling a bit under the weather, this is my second cold in the past 2 months.  *insert huge sigh here*

OK moving on - not letting the half pound get to me - I'm completely on track again today, coming in at 1174 calories and 64 ounces of water.  I feel full and content.

I finally tried one of the Skinny Cow Vanilla Ice Cream sandwiches... so yummy.  Expensive but delicious.

I haven't been to the gym in a couple days, so I'll be going back tomorrow.  I hate exercising at the best of times, and exercising while being sick is worse, so, I put it off.  But tomorrow I'm going for sure.

Hope the challenge is going great for everyone! 

Oh Hey It's Monday!

So - here we are - Monday - somehow I'm at 242lbs - I don't understand this at all.  I haven't been cheating, so I'm kind of flabbergasted.  But most of all, I'm pissed off!

Normally - I'd eat a bag of chips - I can't help it, I love them.....

Tonight - I'm thinking about how much exercise I'd have to do to burn the amount of calories in a bag of chips - it's not pretty.

So instead of eating all those chips, I'm blogging - and it helps, it really does...

http://almostgastricbypass.blogspot.com/

I've decided to officially cancel my challenge - and instead I'm joining Allan's.. his makes way more sense and really accomplishes what I wanted anyway.

I'll update more later... I'm finally sleepy...

Scale-athon #5 - 15/30 Challenge Week 1

I was terrified of stepping on that scale this morning.  I felt like week 1 of this 15/30 challenge went pretty well, but, at the start of it I had gained 1 pound and was at 243 lbs, that, plus knowing in order to get to 15 pounds in a month I'd have to lose 3.5 lbs a week just stressed me out.

Happily, I am down 2.5 lbs and am sitting at 240.5 lbs.  I didn't quite make it to 3.5, but I'm certainly happy with 2.5, and I'm even happier that the scale is finally moving in the right direction again. 

It occurred to me today that I have no control over time (yup, I know that's completely obvious :P).  In a year it will once again be October 22, roughly 6:20pm.  And in that year I can choose to do nothing, and be this weight next year, I can choose to stuff my face with all kinds of treats and probably be twice my size by next year, or, I can do something about this, and be fit and at my goal weight.

I think for me it's about getting through one day.  One at a time.  Make all the right decisions about what I'm going to eat and what I'm going to do at the gym.. then make the same decision the next day.  And before long they won't be decisions anymore, because it'll be my norm.

Update

Well because of my 15/30 birthday challenge, I'll be weighing in on Friday's instead of Monday's for the next month. 

I've been thinking about the challenge a lot these past few days.  It really should be 10 lbs in 30 days to be more realistic.  I think I was just trying to get myself really revved up about it.  Well, we'll see how it goes.  Maybe it should just be lose between 10 and 15 lbs in 30 days. lol

The exercise has been going well.  I'm good until about the 13th minute, then I kind of hit a wall and don't want to exercise anymore, but I've been sticking it out to 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer and burn around 430-440 calories each time I go.  And after I always feel soooo good.

Hope everyone's doing great!

It's 12:35am - are you eating?

I can't sleep - I keep thinking about food.  I'm staying at my grandma's tonight.  From 7pm until 11pm (which is when she went to bed) she harassed me to eat food.  I declined everything.  I feel good about that. 

I went to the gym today.. 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer, 420 calories burned.  I feel like I had a way better workout then what I do on The Shred, the sweat was dripping off.

But here I am, 12:39am now - thinking about eating.  I"m not going to.  The freezer has these potato wedges from M&M that are so delicious.... I finally looked at the nutrition, 170 calories for 5 wedges! OMG!  Who eats 5????  No one!

I Got Troubles oh but, Not Today - 15/30 Challenge!

I've been feeling pretty depressed about my weight lately, I started off losing fairly well, but I've stalled and I'm really aggravated by it.

Normally I'd sit myself down with a large bowl of chips, maybe some chocolate, definitely some root beer. Today, I decided to challenge myself. My birthday is November 19th, 30 days away.  I want to lose 15 pounds by then.  That's roughly 3.5 pounds per week.  To do this, I'm going to base my LA Weight Loss foods around consuming 1200 calories a day.  And I'm going to start going to the gym.  Up until now I've just been doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred - level 2 has been kicking my butt, and I'm getting really discouraged by that.  So I'm going to go to the gym daily, and cut back on The Shred to a few times a week.  Hopefully it'll help get me out of my exercise funk. 

If you'd like to join me in this 15/30 Challenge, leave me a comment!  Every Friday I'll be weighing in, and if there are others who want to join, leave your progress in Friday's posts and I'll put your progress in the sidebar!

Questionnaire

I found this on 42 is a Magic Number and thought I'd give it a go.


1. What was your highest weight, what do you weigh right now and what is your goal weight?

My highest weight was 256lbs. I currently weight 242lbs, and my goal is 140lbs.

2. What is your #1 motivation for losing weight?

My health - I found out that I have PCOS, so I need to lose weight if I want a better chance at having kids. I also have a fatty liver, I don't particularly want it to turn into liver cancer, so, I may as well deal with it while it's reversible.

3. Have you always been overweight?

No - I gained my weight starting my second year in university, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, and food became my comfort. Up until then I was relatively healthy, within my healthy weight range, worked out.... but the past 9 years have not been so great.

4. When you want to give up what inspires you to keep going?

The idea that my liver will give out, and I'll die.

5. What is the #1 thing you look forward to when you hit your goal weight?

The clothes! I know I should say health, but darn, I just want to look cute for a while.

6. Do you have support on your weight loss journey?

Yes - all the people who read this blog, and maybe it helps you a little... friends, not so much, family, sort of ... if they'd stop asking me to bake for them it would be easier lol.

7. What is your favorite exercise?

Swimming - though, currently I won't go near a pool.

8. What is the most important thing you have learned on your weight loss journey?

Don't stop just because the scale has... keep going, the scale will catch up with you.

9. What is one thing you have given up that you miss the most?

That's a hard one - chips I think.... ok wait, popcorn the way I used to eat it... lots of butter and salt. Yup, salty buttery popcorn.

10. What is your strategy for losing weight?

Following my LA Weight Loss plan, exercising and believing in myself (it's been a while)

Scale-athon #4

242.0 lbs

No change.

This I find frustrating. I've been on plan, I've been exercising and no change! I understand if I veer of plan, that's fine, that's something I did and shouldn't have. This is just frustrating.

10-10-10

Well I did it, I got through our Thanksgiving meal without going food crazy. I mostly filled up my plate with salad and some roasted veggies that I made. Added a little white meat from the turkey, bypassed the potatoes, stuffing, gravy and perogies, and felt satisfied at the end.

Unfortunately, I missed my 30 Day Shred today, so I'm pushing back moving to level 2 by one day. So my Shred will end on Oct 31 instead of Oct 30 as originally planned.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving if you're in Canada, or just a great weekend!

Day 9 of The Shred

To be honest, I wasn't really sure I'd make it to day 9, especially after I did the DVD on the first day. In all reality, I'm not sure I've lost anything so far, my weight has been bouncing around, but my endurance is definitely increasing, so that's positive. I don't know if I'm ready to move onto phase 2 of the shred on day 11, I'm a little nervous about it. I think I'll try the second workout on day 11 and then decide.

One thing I should have done, and will do tomorrow, is mark the place on the floor where I'm standing for my pictures. I guess it won't make that much of a difference, but I'd like to do an overlay, so I need them to be the same size.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in Canada - my first official holiday while trying to lose weight. I'm a little nervous about it, as there will be an abundance of food, but I think I can manage ok.

Half Remembered Dream

When I dream I am skinny. It's always a little sad to wake up and see the real me, or the me that I've become. I guess in my dreams I'm the old me, the person I was before I gained the weight, before I was insecure.

I ran into an old friend at the dog park today. It was nice to catch up. We met last year when we both joined the same boot camp.

You see, last year I had the great idea that the way for me to lose a bunch of weight was to join a boot camp. My family figured I'd quit after a couple days, but I lasted 6 months. 3 days a week for 6 months. Guess how much weight I lost? 10lbs! that's it! After all that incredibly hard work, I lost 10 lbs. Normally I'd be happy to lose 10lbs, but at $200 a month, 10lbs didn't seem like a great pay off.

Anyway, we lost touch shortly (immediately) after I had to quit the job she had offered me, b/c my current job was able to offer me more hours. Which is the reason I didn't want to take the job to begin with, I was afraid it would wreck the friendship, and I was exactly right. She stopped returning my calls, and I eventually gave up.

So, it was a bit awkward seeing her today ... she's 8 months pregnant! Due 4 days before my birthday ... apparently she didn't call back b/c she didn't have my number as something (not sure what) happened to her cell phone. Anyway, she gave me her number again and wants me to call her for a get together. Which is great, b/c she has 4 small dogs, and my dog is small (mini-schnauzer) and most of my friends have large dogs, mostly she pays with 2 great danes, so, a huge size difference. Though it's cute, she's getting more and more used to them, and will now chase them around and kind of jump up on her hind legs so she can smell their faces. I should take a picture of that.

OK - it's late, I need to regulate my sleeping times I think, I've heard that's helpful for weight loss. Tomorrow will be a super food/exercise post.

CNS Giveaway

Clyde over at The Clydesdale Project is giving out 2 $25 CNS gift certificates ... check it out!

Scale-athon #3

242.0 lbs (+3 lbs)

This is disappointing... but not surprising. I did Take Off again last week and I gained 3 pounds from that. I talked to my counselor and we decided that for the next month I would skip Take Off, as I always seem to gain when I'm on it.

This week I'm going to be extremely rigid in what I eat and not veer from my plan at all. Hopefully I'll be able to see a loss by the next weekly weigh in.

I'm still doing the 30 Day Shred Challenge. Today is day 5, I'm already finding that my endurance is increasing, so that's encouraging at least.

Postponed

My weekly weigh in will be moved to Tuesday. I spent Sunday night at my grandma's house - she doesn't have a scale... well, she does, but you can put a 10 pound bag of potatoes on it and it will tell you it weighs 30 pounds. So, not reliable.

My grandma's house is pretty much like walking through a store called Temptation. She's got everything you could want to snack on - salty, sweet, salty and sweet... I forgot how tricky it is to be at her house.

She's also the kind of person who is always offering you food. From the minute you get there, until the minute you either leave or go to bed, she's trying to get you to eat something.

I lived with her when I was completing my first Bachelor degree. The surprising thing is that instead of gaining the freshman 15, I actually lost 15 pounds in my first year of University. I was thinner than when I was in high school. I ate regular meals, a portion of chips a day, veggies, all kinds of things. I even got in my head that I should start going to the campus gym. So clearly I have not always hated exercise, I guess that's a more recent development.

Sadly, after my first year of University, the weight started to pile on. Ultimately, I'd like to get down to the weight I was when I lost those 15 pounds.

Shredding

I've been lacking in posts lately, I apologize. I have good intentions about it, and then don't really follow through. This is probably one of the main reasons my weight is as high as it is. I have good intentions to start diets, start exercising, but then usually find reasons not to.

Well not anymore ... I have signed up for Syl's October Challenge ... To do Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD every day in October.

I did the DVD yesterday, today I was so sore I could barely move. I procrastinated today's workout, and finally felt super guilty and actually did it, Late in the evening, but I did it. I'm about 99% sure I'm not going to be able to walk tomorrow, which should make the DVD that much more challenging LOL.

Starting pictures will be posted in my Photos section, and will be updated every 10 days this month.

Scale-athon #2

239.0 pounds (+2 lbs)

I wish I could say I was surprised by this gain, but I'm not really. I've been sick for the past 5 days, hence the complete lack of posts, and have been completely off my plan, eating mostly toast and drinking 7-UP.

I've been finding it hard to keep other things down, including water, which I tried to drink a number of times with discouraging results.

On a positive note, I did manage to almost meet one of my goals for last week, which was going to the gym 3 times. I made it there twice before I got sick. This week I will definitely get there 3 times... I'm going right after I finish posting this.

So while this gain could be disappointing, I'm just going to shrug it off to the fact that I was sick and couldn't eat all the food I was supposed to.

Time to move on.

The Social Network

A friend of mine has a friend who has a job promoting movies (how cool is that?). So I was able to go to a free advanced screening of The Social Network tonight.

For those of you that don't know, The Social Network is the story of how the extremely popular social networking site Facebook was created. The movie is an adaptation of Ben Mezrich's novel: "The Accidental Billionaires: The Founding of Facebook, A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius, and Betrayal."

Jesse Eisenburg plays Mark Zuckerburg, the creator of Facebook. I have to say this, he was fantastic in the movie. There's a scene at the beginning of Zuckerburg with his then-girlfriend Erica having a conversation in a bar. After this scene I was astonished by how much of a complete jerk Zuckerburg seemed to be. Very believable performance.

The plot is one of controversy. Who really created Facebook? Was the idea stolen or was it stolen from fellow Harvard students who had hired Zuckerburg to create a website for them. I really wonder at how valid this movie is, as it is a tale of two sides. Also discussed is the relationship between Zuckerburg and his friend Eduardo Saverin, the co-creator of Facebook.

Overall, I thought the movie was great. Very entertaining and well acted. The vuzz is that it's Oscar-worthy. It left me wanting to know more about the whole subject, which is a great feeling. I'm tempted to purchase the novel and see if there is any additional information in it.

Scale-athon

The last week went by really fast. I can't believe it's weigh in time already.

Losing weight really is a marathon, and definitely not a sprint, not that I could sprint at the moment, but anyway.

Current weight: 237 lbs (-3 lbs)

3lbs! Yay!

I now feel pretty guilty about having popcorn at the movie I went to tonight (The Social Network - advanced screening).

Goals for the week: eat all my food (yes, I do see the irony that an overweight person has to set a goal to eat more food) and go to the gym 3 times (a major increase from my current 0 visits a week).

An All Time Low

A couple days ago I woke up, and like every day, immediately strolled up to my scale and hopped up. 236.5 lbs! I was ecstatic. Then, the next morning, back up to 240 lbs. What?!?!

I'm so sick of these random fluctuations.

The program I'm doing is LA Weight Loss. Every two weeks you have to do "Take Off" where you eat a limited amount of protein and drink their juice for 2 day. These fluctuations happened while I was doing take off, so I think I'm going to skip the next one and just do it once a month instead of twice a month and see if that helps.

Tomorrow I'm committed to actually starting a gym routine.

Updateatron

Well - I was sick all weekend. It's amazing how quickly you forget about your diet when your nose plugs up. I lost 1 pound this week, which is extremely disappointing, though I spent 4 days off my diet, not really eating much. I tend not to eat when I'm sick, other than toast. I'm back on plan, hopefully this week will yield better results.

Push Push Fall Fall

I went in to see my counselor today. Bad news, I've only lost half of the weight I should have by week 8 in my program. Bah!! I should be at 16 lbs lost but I'm only at 8 lbs. My counselors (yup, it's kind of random which one you get when you go there) keep telling me to be positive. Just stick to the program and the weight will come off.


They say my biggest problems are I've been eating too late in the evening, I agree - I've been having a snack at 9pm, way too late! And my other problem is I haven't been mixing up my food enough. Not enough variety apparently. This poses a problem for me... I've only taken up cooking recently and am not exactly an expert at it. I prefer to make things that don't take very long, and don't have much clean up at the end. So I've pretty much been eating the same things everyday. I was actually ok with this until they told me I need to mix it up.



They also told me about this one client they have who lost 100 lbs since January! January! That's 8 months! Holy! Insert jealousy here.



Oh well - I guess it's just baby steps for me.. I think I need to baby step my way to the gym and try exercise on for size.

Over and Over ... I Never Learn

In January of 2009 my best friend told me she got engaged. Naturally I was thrilled for her, and horrified for me. Not because I'm single and have no romantic prospects ... but because all I could envision was me standing next to her at the alter, with skin hanging out of my bridesmaid dress.

She scheduled her wedding for August of 2010.. and I thought, "great, this gives me tonnes of time to lose some weight and look good in a dress." So what did I do? I gained 10lbs. The wedding was creeping closer and closer ... and every day I'd stand on the scale and think, "what am I going to do? The dress I ordered fit, but was snug, it's not going to fit my new weight."

With the stress of not fitting into my dress, added to the stress of teaching summer school.. I ate pretty much anything I saw... this, obviously, did not help the problem. Near the end of July I finally really realized "Stephanie... you will not fit in the dress," and really did something about it.

Limited foods, increased water, walking, and by wedding time I was down to the weight I was when I tried on the sample dress. Our dresses came in 4 days before the wedding (talk about last minute) and... moment of truth... the dress fit. It was extremely snug, clearly the sample had been stretched a bit.

I had them let the dress out half an inch (the most it could be let out) and this helped. On the day of her wedding, we got all dolled up and prepared for the most important day of her life. I pasted a smile on my face, sprayed sparkles in my hair... and masked my broken heart. Here we were, the day I had set a goal on. I had given myself a year and a half to lose weight, and I was still the same, down to the ounce.

And while a lot of people came up to me and expressed how great I looked, all I saw was a big girl squeezed into a purple strapless dress. And after all that disappointment, all I can do now is look forward, and finally do what I had intended to do. I have to lose the weight, all 107lbs.

It seems like such a long way to go, and it is. It was so easy to put on. But, it's so ridiculously hard to lose.

Freedom Revoked

Well - it was short and sweet, and I miss it already. I had the house to myself for a week while my parents moved my brother back to Manitoba for his second year of Medical School. Yes - it's true, I'm 27, living in my parents basement. I am a cliche of epic proportions.

While I do love my parents, I need to get out of this house. So since my "career" isn't really taking off, it may be time to start looking for alternatives. I'm thinking Government Job. *fingers crossed*

9:30 Senior Skating

I've never been to the mall at 9:30am before. It's a weird thing, people are lining up outside stores that haven't opened, people are opening up those annoying little kiosks in the middle of the aisles, and there are senior skating around the ice rink (which is neat).

I really had only one purpose for being at the mall - a trip to T&T Supermarket to purchase some Panko Breadcrumbs. This Asian market is delightful, I'm always in awe of how many products have Hello Kitty pasted all over them. The one in the picture actually has little Hello Kitty shaped veggies (I think - maybe seaweed?) in there.


I have a tendency to buy odd items when walking through unfamiliar markets. The foreign writing fascinates me and the pictures, oh the pictures. I settled on these guys - Green Peas Snacks. They were possibly green peas, as that was the #1 ingredient. but they didn't resemble anything I've ever seen before.
They were very strange - crunchy but soft, and they kind of had an aftertaste of green peas. Well at least I didn't get sick from them, not that I ate that many.

it says a year, but it feels like a week

Well, if Blogger says it's so, then I guess I must believe it. One year, well, over a year actually since my last post.

Somehow this saddens me just a bit, not a huge amount, but, still.

And while it's been a year, I still seem to be stuck in the same place, some of the variables have changed, but the total is the same.

The redundancy is really starting to get to me.

On the meme train

Taken from the lovely Barbara: answer the following questions with a song title from ONE artist.

Artist: Matthew Good/Band

Are you male or female? Carmelina

Describe yourself: I'm a Window

How do you feel about yourself? My Out of Style is Coming Back

Describe where you currently live: Suburbia

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Bright End of Nowhere

Your best friend is: In a World Called Catastrophe

Your favorite color is: Vermillion

You know that: 99% of us is Failure

What's the weather like? Change of Season

If your life was a TV show, it would be called: tie - My Life as a Circus Clown & 21st Century Living

What is life to you? Empty Road

What is the best piece of advice you have to give? Look Happy, It's the End of the World

If you could change your name, what would it be? Odette

Your favorite food is: Truffle Pigs

K-I-C-K-A-S-S

Last night was a treat. It's been a long time since I've seen a concert in the Jubilee Auditorium, and it is as great a venue as I remember. What I especially like about the Jubilee is the announcement of how long the wait is until the show is starting. Excellent.

It's been years since Matthew Good has toured with a band, and my anticipation level was at an all time high. Don't get me wrong, I loved the acoustic tours, but there's something truly spectacular about watching Matthew Good perform with a band.

As the lights dimmed and the first chords of Champions of Nothing were played a huge grin spread across my face... then in true concert spirit, he forgot the lyrics. One of the great moments of the night was the ending of A Single Explosion, which I found to be incredibly delightful.

A personal favorite, Avalanche, was played, but it didn't seem as tightly played as the last time I saw it in full band. Odette and Giant were really wonderful to see played again. And to my extreme joy, Girl In the War was played last. It was a great cover and truth be told, I shed a couple tears during it.

After the show I finally completed my collection of autographs getting In A Coma, White Light Digipack signed, courtesy of Gina. And I got Lo-Fi B-Sides and Loser Anthems signed. Yay! Maybe I'll take a picture.

Overall, a very memorable Matthew Good Rockgasm.

★ ★ ★

On another note, I spent the whole morning in a medi-clinic. After spending 4 months of this year with pink eye, after seeing a specialist to finally get rid of it, one month later it's back. And it's worse than ever. I took along the drops the specialist gave me and requested a refill, which resulted in the doctor telling me that he didn't think I had pink eye. But I had spent a long time in that sitting room and I was pissed off. Four months my eyes looked exactly like this, yes it is pink eye.

In the end I got my drops and am looking forward to white eyes on the horizon.

What My Dreams Are Made Up Of

Just like the image says, "The iPhone You've Been Waiting For". Yes, Yes I have been waiting, and waiting and waiting. And now with less than a month to go my heart is starting to swell with anticipatory joy.

Oh Apple, you are my drug addiction. Once you start you just cannot stop. iPod, MacBook Pro, new iPod.... iPhone! Huzzah!

It's possible my now unstoppable drool response is also due to the upcoming concert season. Oh summer, you have not failed me this year. Except for the sunburns I have already acquired; I'm not so happy about that.

Must Have Lost My Mind When I Lost the Car Keys

I cannot go to bed early. Every morning I wake up with the intention of being in bed by 11pm... and here it is, 1:43am still awake.

I regret it every morning, yet I just can't get into bed at a reasonable hour.

I suppose this would be alright if I was actually doing something with my time, but alas no... I spent 3 hours changing the background colour of my blog. Well, I suppose a little of that was first creating the pic in PhotoShop, but not much. It's been so long since I've been on here I've forgotten all my HTML knowledge. And I can't bring myself to upgrade my template.

Probably if I clicked that upgrade button I could have made all my changes in 10 minutes.

Some people never learn, I'm one of them.

How is it you can keep mutating and still be the same deadly virus?

In case you are wondering what happened to me:

I got a substitute teaching job... despite parking in the snow lane and having to move my car during my job interview, as well as looking like a crazy drug addict

I had pink eye for 4 months! (hence the drug addict chic look)

I lined up a zillion concerts for this summer.... best summer ever really

I guess that's it

Sad

Hey It's My Favorite Holiday - Barf

Hey everybody, look how red my eye is... Sweet! Too bad I looked like a drug addict for the job interview I've been waiting 7 months for. Oh and maybe I shouldn't have parked in the snow removal lane and had to be paged on the intercom to move my car. In my defense, there really was not enough signage.

So it's Valentine's day again. Is is me or does it always seem like it's Valentine's Day? Maybe it's just my sense of impending doom.

So as to not break tradition, I will be alone yet again this Valentine's Day.

Question: are you ever really alone when you buy yourself a pink iPod Nano?
Answer: NO.

Hey everybody - you can see my reflection in the iPod screen! Double picture. I like how my hair gets worse and worse with each picture. I hate to think what it will look like in an hour from now.

Now on the positive side of things, I did go on a date last week. I know what you're thinking - and yes, it is some kind of miracle and I wouldn't be surprised if we're about to experience the apocalypse.

Treasure Hunters II

The much anticipated sequel to the smash hit Treasure Hunters.

This happens the day after the first one was shot.

If you haven't seen the first one, it's the post before this one.

Thanks to Barbara for turning me on to the music.

My iMovie HD directorial debut

So today Gina and I went on an adventure... it's like -30 Celsius...

I took a video and played with iMovie HD... it was fun times

There's music, so turn on your speakers and enjoy!

Come Down and Waste Away With Me

Oh yes my friends.. as well as two posts already this year, I also have new shoes. Joy!

I really have to ask this question... to the one or two readers that still might swing this way every once and a while. Am I the only one that is feeling extremely optimistic about 2008? Somehow it already seems a lot better than 2007 and we're only 18 days in.

Over the holidays my family all came together and re-watched Season 3 of Lost. Tonight it all came to an end as the two-part season finale captivated us once again. And now, only 11 days to go until Season 4... and not just Season 4, but Season 4 in HD.

I am also determined to see Radiohead in Vancouver, or Toronto, or Montreal... I will get a ticket to somewhere!

I'm also starting to get bored of not having a job. Don't get me wrong.. laying around and doing nothing is good times... but maybe I should make some money so I can put some gas in my car.

Holy Moly an Update

So here we go.. the annual year end recap of 2007..

By far the worst decision of 2007 was to give up napping. Soon to be best decision of 2008 - start napping.

End of recap post... I'm not a fan of them really.

New Year's resolution = do not spend any change. People who know me know how difficult this will be as I routinely travel around with about $34 of loose change at the bottom of my purse. This is a good plan if you like making a fool of yourself, or if you are scared of being mugged. Chances are the mugger will be so perplexed by the weight of your purse that he/she will just give up.


My dad has become obsessed with Harry Potter and is now comparing pretty much every situation you can imagine to something that Harry Potter has done. For example, he came up with this joke:

Why did the chicken cross the street?
Answer: To get to St. Mungo's Hospital of Magical Maladies

Imagine living with that all the time.

West Coast (New Video)

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Andrew Bird - Imitosis

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I'm in Post-Matthew Good shock.

3 shows... I heard every single song I was hoping for this tour... it was a musical orgasm from start to finish..

Yikes

Sometimes people really let you down. It sucks.

On a totally unrelated note, a lady I've worked with for the past 5 years was just diagnosed with bladder cancer. It's really sad.

On the positive side, I'm totally in love with my MacBook Pro. I got it a few weeks ago and I keep meaning to take a video of it, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. Possibly tomorrow if I don't forget.

The keyboard illuminates, it's simply magical. Hurrah for Apple!

Poor Professor Pynchon

I have decided to rewatch Lost. THe all time best TV series EVER!

It was my brother's idea - he watched an episode from season 1 in Mexico, and came home eager to watch with me.

Unfortunately his enthusiasm is lacking compared to mine - I've surpased him by 2 episodes, secretly obviously, because we're supposed to be watching it together.

But honestly, I can't wait that long. I want to watch NOW.

OMG I love Andrew Bird. And I love new shoes. And I love that I get to sleep in my bed tonight - after sleeping on a matress on the floor of my mom's room for the past week while relatives have been here and even worse is that we had relatives the week before and while I got to sleep in my room, some of them snored so I got no sleep at all.

Well I got new shoes

They are brown and cute

Very comfortable

The front have flowers embroidered over plaid.


They are awesome fun!





The back of the shoe has an owl on it. Awesome!

Come to the Front of the Class - We'll Measure Your Brain

Okay update with video has been rescheduled for tomorrow - today has been an insane EMO day. I think I'm okay now - surviving at least.

Heart kind of broken - but, I'm alive so, can you ask for more than that?

I'm expanding my Chicago ideas - I'm thinking Vancouver or Winnipeg - parents oddly calm now that I"m considering a move in Canada.

I think I will buy shoes in the morning. I haven't had new shoes in a long long time - and my heart needs a new pair of shoes right now.

Dear Reader

I am watching "The Last Mimsy" or the Last Mimzy, I don't remember how it is spelled

anyway, If you want to talk about the problems with the movie, please feel free to email me, or IM me, or whatever

also, ummmm awesome movie!

Apparently this post is a Blogger problem

Serviced down time? I don't know

But here I am

A lot to post about the past week

It will have to wait until tomorrow

But fear not - tomorrows post comes with video

so

there's always that

video where content is lacking - except, I think content will be good

also, I have been drinking a little, which will be explained tomorrow, and you all will think "I would have been drinking too"

I'm doing my least favorite of all things today.... cleaning.

And while it is incredibly long overdue, I still do not want to do it and would prefer to wallow in my messy messy room.

Boourns

This is my favorite Post Secret secret of all time... because I would do the exact same thing.

I sincerely want to meet the people who are in charge of writing things like this. My favorite part is at the end of the trailer, I was laughing so hard I was crying, then thinking about it later I laughed even harder and there were more tears.

It's genius.

The World Is Spinning

Why is it so hot out?

Don't I live in Canada? How is my igloo supposed to survive this weather? Where am I supposed to put my snow dogs? They're warm.

I absolutely hate the heat... I'm melting up a storm... I'm just glad I'm not at work, melting in those hot booths, that's the only thing that could be worse than having just hot weather. Well, a tornado would be worse too. But aside from a tornado, being in a booth.

In other news - I am not going to Chicago, we're doing a phone interview instead, good thing b/c I have no money. Guess I should be melting in a booth instead of complaining about having no money, but oh well.

Wednesday July 18th; 1:00PM

I've got a job interview in Chicago.... Biology Teacher...

I am beyond excited about this..

My family... not so much

Lots of arguments today... but I'm still excited

Mainly they're pissed off because I can't give them a reason as to why I want to move to Chicago... something about it just feels right and they can't except that as a reason I guess.

Brother: "You should move to Saskatoon"
Me: "Why Saskatoon?"
Brother: "Why Chicago?"
Me: Glares
Brother: "Chicago is the Saskatoon of the States"
Me: "You're insane"

QUESTION:

why is it that I am ok with the texture of pudding, but am not ok with the texture of bananas? Are they not the same texture? Bananas are possibly a little harder, but really, mostly the same to pudding.

This is blowing my mind right now.

Hospital Music

Have you listened yet?

It's freaking insane!

Early favorite: Odette

I'm pretty much salivating just thinking about July 31st

So I've got a job interview on Thursday. With one of the best high schools in the area. It's for a half-time teaching job, so that's exciting. Courses currently unknown - to be determined by the candidate hired.

I didn't even really apply for this job, and I haven't applied to the district either.

This is crazy.

Smurfs Built this Country ... back in 1880

If I go to Chicago I get to go on a bus tour. That's right, the Chicago school board sends you on a bus tour, and takes you around to different schools.

Edmonton - no bus tour.

Boourns Edmonton.

Now I put this off for a little while - but I'm finally going to talk about it.
Matt Good's Born Losers. All I can say is. YUMMY. They day it started streaming on his website, I listened to it for almost 3 hours straight. This seems excessive, even to me, but, I couldn't stop. I was dancing, I was singing, I was in a state of pure euphoria.

Needless to say, I'm pretty much living for July 31st at this point.

Conan O'Brein's hair is aerodynamically amazing.

Take the World and Make it Yours Again

Finally.... after 2 weeks of steady calling, I was able to talk to someone at the Illinois State Board of Education about becoming certified in Illinois.

I almost started crying when someone answered the phone and it wasn't the message telling me that the voice-mailbox was full. I think I sounded stunned because the lady kind of laughed at me a bit. But she was super helpful and is mailing me all kinds of info.

Very productive day...

I'm going to visit my crazy Chem 20's tomorrow... nerdy, but I'm excited. There's Barnyard - the kid who always made barnyard noises, and Ham kid - who asked the chemical formula of ham and also socks, I told him to check his label. Who wouldn't be excited about that?

I Cannot Guess What We'll Discover

The family is now taking bets on whether or not I will actually go to Chicago. I didn't see that coming somehow.

Interestingly, my only ally turned out to be Baba, who, thinks it's a fantastic idea for me to move away. She thinks it's possibly because I'm young and she's old - we share a common craziness. Her words, not mine.

Party time tonight - camping at some cabin, I made a mixed CD for the drive out. I'm possibly more excited about the CD than the party, but that's normal for me. I'm batting at par. Can you bat at par? Par is golf, batting is baseball, hmmmm. Conundrum.

In the last paragraph, "hmmmm" is underlined for incorrect spelling. Upon checking the recommendations, it recommends Ohmmeter. HAHAHAHA

That literally made my day

It had just come to me.

The only solution possible

Move out of the country

Give parents the address of my blog

That should satisfy them right?

Readers Please Come Back

Readers Please Come Back

Ok I know I've been a bad blogger

But I promise to be better

Please - people who used to read all this nonsensical rambling

Please come back

It'll be worth it

I could be funny again

probably

Ok so Gina pointed out that I haven't put a pic of myself on here in a long time, and yes, that is true. So here we go. Readers beware...scary times ahead.


It's been a long night of thinking about exactly what it is I'm going to do. I suppose really no decision needs to be made, and I really have no job anywhere. It's actually kind of scary to graduate from University, for the second time, and really have nothing. I mean yeah, I have friends and family and all that jazz - but, future = still totally up in the air.

This time next year I could be anywhere. It's a little scary.

I'm pretty sure my left arm is sunburned from driving around with Gina today. Frig. It's itchy like it's on fire.

Random thought aside: what to do.

NOTE: my teeth look really white in this photo WOOT!
When do you reach the point where you wonder if it's worth it to chase after a fantasy? I mean, this fantasy makes you extremely happy....and you think that fantasy could equate reality....so, is it worth it to go after it and leave everything you know behind?

I don't know...it really feels like it is. Like this could be the thing I would regret doing if I don't do it. So I suppose that means, go for it.

This all seems obvious as I'm writing this...but honnestly, it's been hours of wondering and staring around my room at nothing listening to Josh Ritter over and over and over. because I'm to lazy to add another disc to my stereo.

God, how can I survive on my own? Who will I hang with? Do you need people to hang with if you're attending a music festival in Hyde Park? You can go to that alone right?

Oy Vey

It just occured to me that I can't recall the last time I had a hug. This realization is doing nothing to improve the mood I currently find myself in. Depression is probably the closest word. And it's crazy because two days ago I was as high as a kite in a state of excitement.

The thing is - is that I want to move to Chicago. I'm currently looking for a teaching job there, and I'm trying to get certified and get a work visa and all that stuff. The problem is - my parents have gone completely insane about the idea of me moving to the states.

They're scared I'll get injured and then not be able to pay hospital fees, or what if I get mugged, or what if the school is unsafe.

And even knowing that all those things are possiblilties - I still want to go. I want to go really really badly.

Time for an adventure I say!

Mom: I'm hopped up on caffiene like that guy in the soccer movie.

Me: What are you talking about?

Mom: Will Ferell when he discovers coffee in that soccer movie

Me: OK

Mom: I discovered the greatest thing

Me: What is it?

Mom: amazon.com

Me: OMG

OK so about a month ago I signed up to be interviewed by Barbara - and then I totally forgot to answer her interview questions and they've just been sitting in my email inbox forever.

So here we go:

1. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

15

2. If you could choose only one, would you rather be beautiful, charming, or smart?

Smart

3. If you were able to learn the date and manner of your death, would you want to know?

No - then everday I would just think about things I want to do before I die, at least if you don't know you can't regret not finishing your "to do before I die" list.

4. What would be the best super power to have? Why?

Hmmmm tough question. OK time travel. Then I could go back and see anything I want, or go forward to see what it'll be like after I'm gone, assuming that I'm not immortal of course. Also, you could totally travel forward to find out things like lottery numbers, or the answers to tomorrow nights Jeopardy and then impress all your friends with your Jeopardy knowledge.

5. What would you do if you had the entire day off, no responsibilities, and someone handed you $1000?

I would hop on a plane to New York and buy a pair of designer shoes that I would never ever take off. OR I would walk around town and give it away to people who are nice to me, and laugh at the people who were rude. Yeah, OK the second one, that sounds like more fun.

• If you want to be interviewed: Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me!" along with your email address.
• I will respond by e-mailing you five questions. I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.
• You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
• You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
• When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Lord, beer me strength

It's hard to believe that in 5 days this will all be over. I've been in university for 7 years. 7 years! and in 5 days it's all over.

I'm possibly having a bit of a mental breakdown....but I still have a paper to write and a final exam to study for.

I'm going to have to look for a job. A real job, not just some crazy summer job. eeek I'm getting old and it's freaking me out.

So I read JPod today. Fucking amazing. So funny. I know I'm behind the times with that one - but I was waiting for soft cover, screw that hard cover bullshit. It's a pain in the ass, and hard to read in the bath.

Over the past 5 days, I have come to realize that maybe I really am supposed to be on the "educator" side of the education scheme of things.
I'm taking an ethics course...to learn not to sleep with my students...it's super interesting as you can imagine. Only 3 weeks long thank god. I'm pretty sure that about 9 out of 20 students are counting how many times the instructor says that we will "tease out" the information. I've seen a number of tally sheets....very amusing.

In other news... there is no other news.

I'm bored lately, and kind of lonely. In love with an idea.. but nothing that will ever happen realistically.

At least The Office has been totally awesome lately.

PS - I am watching K-PAX instead of going to bed and being rested for my stupid class. Kevin Spacey is bitchin

I know what you are thinking, and the answer is YES, I did make all those solutions that are now the picture in the header.

It's because I'm a master titrator, and also, some kind of chemistry genius.

I've taken a liking to roaming the halls in my lab coat and goggles, like some kind of mad scientist.

Today was my last day of student teaching...and man, is my evaluation a thing of genius. I'm not to sure how I pulled this off, but I must say, I've impressed myself lol

Somehow I ended up liking teaching chem, and it's really surprised me. I"m going to miss those crazy kids.

Now I just have to decide whether or not I want to apply for teaching jobs in the fall, or if I want to just bum around or something.

Hard to say

I have to get up in 4 hours, work work work. booooourns

no one seems to know which way to turn

So I was at Starbucks today, happily drinking my coffee with A, working on my lesson plans blah blah blah, when all of a sudden people are rushing around with a fire extinguisher.

Someone set the garbage can outside on fire. Everyone was evacuated from the store, and we were all given coupons for free drinks. I had to yield to the firetruck on my drive to another location.

I've sort of met a guy. Sort of. The complicated situation surrounding him does nothing to diminish the quick beats of my heart. I'm such a fruitcake.

Paperweight on my Back, Cover me like a Blanket

Ok dudes

I'm going to France and Italy

Summer of '08

It's decided

Travel is in the air

And it feels delicious

4 weeks until this student teaching is over

4 weeks and my sanity will return

Which may not be a good thing

Sparkle, Bubble Over

So I'm 4 weeks in to this student teaching ... yeah, I hate it pretty much.

I like the chemistry more than I thought I would, and I dislike the kids more than I thought I would. So pretty much I wish I was back with my totally dysfunctional class from my first student teaching.

I'm not really sure what to do about this ... I mean, obviously finish the degree, but then what? Good question. Maybe I just hate it because it's student teaching and it would be different if it was my own class. I don't know.

5 weeks to go.

Album of the month:

Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs

Holy crap guys, fantastic! Particularily Sovay. Absolutely wonderful track. Ahhhh ear deliciousness.

Today is my first day of student teaching - I'm freaking out even though I know I'm not teaching anything today. I just hope I don't teach anything all week. I can deal with starting next Monday, but the thought of starting Thursday of Friday is giving me an ulcer.

This is going to be a looooooong 9 weeks.

Oh Chem. What was I thinking?

I Won't Talk Turkey With Someone Who Don't Want to Talk Turkey

Man oh man. I was looking at some of the links that people take to get here, and one was some crazy search that resulted in one of my old posts showing up. I totally forgot about this:

I Won't Talk Turkey With Someone Who Don't Want to Talk Turkey

OK, I'm starting to think it's me. I attract crazy people. And today, I literally mean it, not in a derogatory way, just in a "this guy seriously has mental problems" kind of way.

This guy was sitting beside me on the busride home, he turns to me.

Guy - "Did you have turkey for Christmas dinner?"

Me - "yes"

Guy - "Poultry, meaning chicken, turkey, duck and geese are the slaves of humans"

Me - "ok"

Guy - "they're carted around just like people are packed into this bus. Did you know that when they brought people over from Africa to be slaves, the ships were called slavers?"

Me - "No, I didn't know that'

Guy - "Now I call the trucks that carry the chickens slavers. And I call busses Humaners. I went downtown to deal with my employment compensation and there were all these people in the building. I think the "institution" is like a human, and all the humans in the "institution" are like cells of the human"

Me - "ok"

Guy - "Chickens are our slaves. Would you eat a chicken if you were in heaven?"

Me - "ummm I guess so"

Guy - "Chickens in heaven is like having a lambourgeni (spelling?) You don't really need it but it's nice to have. I was going to tell this guy *points at a guy sitting in front of us who has his sweater hood pulled all the way over his face* that chickens are the slaves of humans, but he doesn't want to know about it and I don't want to tell people about turkeys if they don't want to know about turkeys"

Me - *Thinking to myself- I don't want to know about turkeys!*

Guy - "My psychiatrist is trying to get me free tickets to the citadel theater. That's entertainment. Entertainment for humans"

Me - "Yup they have some good shows there"

Guy - "Darn right they do, shows for humans"

Me - "Oh this is my stop. Gotta go"

I walked the rest of the way home.

I love staying up late

Bad tv and nail trimming

Some of my favorite things

So happy Valentine's Day everyone. I think that this is probably the best Valentine's day I've ever had. Why you asK? Super awesome episode of Lost. Frankly I'm amazed by these writers, ans just cannot believe that people are upset about the direction of this show. It' sjust so good.

Ok enough of that.

Today was the greatest day I've have in 5.5 weeks. Why? I finally wrote my final for my super horrible APT course and now I am free with nothing to do until next Tuesday when student teaching starts. Ok free is a relative term, as I still need to learn Chemistry. But I'm not roped into going to a horrifying class that I pretty much sleep through for 3 or 6 hours a day.

ahhh freedom

Dear Chevy Aveo (Alero? I don't know):

I understand that maybe you want to drive 50km/hr in an 80kn/hr zone. Ok Fine, but could you maybe not swerve right in front of me and then not speed up when you see that I'm flying towards you like a crazy bancheee and there is no one behind me so why did you have to swerve right in front of me when you could have waited 20 seconds and then the lane would have been all yours to drive as slowly as you wanted.

I don't know your story, mabye you're trying to get rear-ended for the insurance money, how should I know? I just feel that it's my duty to inform you that it is unlikely that I will hit you as I drive like a superstar. And also, it's more likely that I will just swerve into another lane and hit some poor unsuspecting fellow.

It is true that I only got 15 minutes of sleep today, and in all honnesty I feel as though it has heightened my driving awesomeness, not impaired it. I am not speeding, I am driving the speed limit, I'm even breaking because there's an icy patch up ahead. The problem with winter driving is that people get crazy because they see a snowflake and then they imdeiately drop there speed by 400%. THis is the wrong thing to do, because people who actually know how to drive get mad. I"m not talking about those crazy people who drive their big trucks like a zillion km/hr and then end up rolling or are in the ditch, because that is good irony if you ask me.

Anyway, Mr Chevy Aveo/Alero: please retake your driving exam. Or maybe get an eye exam? Perhaps you just couldn't read the speed limit sign.

Did I mention that as of now, my sleep tally for the day is 45 minutes. I managed to have a nap. It wasn't that great. Aparently I was snoring but I am not prone to believe that.

Thank you and goodbye

El Capilano!

I had a huge assignment due today so pretty much I stayed up until 5:40am finishing it and then because I had consumed so much caffiene, I lay in bed for an hour just shaking and having chills. Then I managed to fall asleep for 15 minutes before I had to get up for class.

I've got a great work ethic.

Then my instructor announces that we can hand in the assignment by tonight at like 9pm if we want. And you couldn't tell me this BEFORE I stayed up all night?! WHAT>!

Now all my typing is crazy and I feel like I'm drunk blogging because I"m completely delirious. Even people in my class were like "what is wrong with you?' because I was smiling and really chatty and laughing about everything and normally I am sullen and withdrawn and angry about being at a totally useless class.

I should never sleep and I can be the life of the party all the time everywhere.

Then I was waiting for the bus to come home and I was saying El Capilano in a pirate voice in my head because of that Capitano! but my bus I take is Capilano> get it?! Awesome!

PS> I am going to drive my car now.

It's amazing how much my productivity level increases as it gets later and later in the evening. Mornings are bad, I get nothing done. Afternoon brings about a desire to watch TV, as does early evening. But around 11pm my creative juices start flowing and work gets done. All my papers get written around 1-2am. But levels reach a maximum and completely plumit after 3:30am.

It's too bad that I don't go to night school and then sleep all day long.

Update, Update, Read All About It

So I went to the school where I'm doing my student teaching and met my mentor teacher, he invited me to watch one of his classes, but I was in class so I couldn't, but I ended up going and just meeting with him so he could give me some resources to use when I'm there. Anyway, he's really nice. And the school has a science technician. That's someone who sets up and cleans up whenever you want to do a lab with your class. This is probably the most wonderful things ever, if you've ever set up a lab for a class before, you'd know why; it's a huge pain in the ass and takes a long long time.

So I recieved my sentance ... two Chem 20 classes and dun dun dun one Chem 30 class. I should probably warn them now that no one will be passing their diploma exam this year. haha. I'm not doing Chem 30 the whole time, just random topics, so that's a relief.

And obvioiusly the most exciting thing in my life ... Lost started up again tonight. Ahhhh wonderful episode. I can't express how much I love this show.

But something I can't express more love for, is that I've been writing all these papers for my classes, and you need to incorporate research and things, and I haven't read a single article yet but I'm still getting over 85%. I don't know how that's possible, and I don't care. Because it's working out well for me.

Lost Parody